The first episode of The Real Housewives of Auckland ends in drama of plus sized proportions, with the characters trading nasty insults at an elite eatery.
The argument starts as one of the wealthy ladies covered in expensive jewels and thick make-up asks another if she's a plus size model.
Tears and swearing ensue. More on that later.
The show opens with happy dance music blaring as the voiceover and rapidly-edited shots of fancy clothes and faces covered in ridiculous amounts of make-up hammer home a message as strongly as possible: These women are rich.
Each of the rich women is introduced with their name spelt out in large letters, as they stand as green-screened giants upon the Waitemata Harbour in front of a tiny Auckland.
The episode proper kicks off with Louise Wallace and Gilda Kirkpatrick zooming around in expensive cars and chatting on the phone to arrange a meet-up.
Shortly after, they're together in a posh bar to drink bubbly booze and look at some fashion. It's Soul Bar, for a TK Fashion Show, and the pair are joined by other Real Housewives Julia Sloane and Angela Stone.
Christchurch fashion stylist Angela makes a bad first impression, handing the others a book on how to style themselves and then talking non-stop about herself. Gilda especially is unimpressed, and it turns out the feeling was returned in kind - Angela found her "extremely rude" for not standing when greeting.
Tensions continue to rise at a later birthday lunch for Julia at Ostro where Michelle Blanchard arrives with Gilda via Rolls Royce, while the other four come in a limo.
A competitive chat about each of the characters' respective modelling careers quickly turns awkward as Michelle hits Angela with the "plus size" bombshell, while Julia becomes miffed she's not getting any attention.
Drama erupts in the form of tears, with that size comment percolating in Angela's mind until it gets the better of her. She retreats with Julia and Louise to the balcony to be consoled, while Michelle, Gilda and Anne Batley-Burton stay inside wondering what the problem is.
When Angela returns to the table, it all goes pear-shaped, with much crass language unbecoming of the elegant location. The heated conversation allows Gilda and Angela to clear the air on being the Soul Bar slights, although getting past them seems unlikely as further abuse is hurled.
"People are supposed to be paying me compliments - instead, they're trading insults," says a chagrined Julia.
And then the episode comes to an end, with a preview of what's in the next - another argument, this time at a meal Michelle is hosting.
What wayward comment will start that one? We have to wait and see.
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