The latest Bachelor NZ episode kicked off back at the cocktail party with Zac and Viarni ferreted away for a private chat.
The conversation flowed warmly to the height of Zac exclaiming, "Yeah I'm quietly stoked and I'm like 'sweet'," about the redhead.
That's the mating call of every Kiwi male.
Suddenly, there was a dramatic cut to Taylar stalking the house trying to track down the Bachelor and his chosen conversation partner. It was like something out of The Purge.
She was the first to interrupt - striding in boldly to claim her own chat - but she certainly wasn't the last.
The episode was one big game of musical chairs with each girl taking their opportunity to cut into each other's chats. Zac barely had a chance to tell each girl that they looked stunning that evening before the next one rolled in.
Bitterness began to bubble up as each lady got their turn. "She'll get bitten by mosquitos over there," Elaina told the others on the uncomfortable bench seating, triggering maniacal laughter. Blossoming friendship is a beautiful thing.
There were some clear stand-outs, including pre-school teacher Molly. She and Zac discussed the shittiness of Tinder, and how hard it is to find something meaningful online.
Zac showered more excessive praise on the self-confessed "child", confiding that "it's nice to see Molly is conscious and wants to make a good first impression".
Yes, Zac, those are two things you should definitely look for in a soul mate - particularly her being conscious.
The episode was highlighted by our Bachelor trying to figure out how to cram at least five women into each intimate set-up built for two. If there's one thing that can make a situation less awkward, it's side-on conversations on tiny loveseats.
Zac reached peak panic as women continued to descend, comparing himself to a gazelle being hunted by lions, even swatting away an attempted interruption by Jess with a cutting, "Can I come and grab you in like five minutes?"
The first rose ceremony revealed the incredible power the white rose carries. Viarni, its recipient, can choose when she goes on a single date - stealing the privilege away from another contestant. Let's all pray it's Taylar, for the intense fireworks that would undoubtedly create.
One by one, the roses were distributed to the shocked and humbled bachelorettes. The anticipation mounted as we reached the last rose... and it was gifted to terrifying Taylar.
Sadly but somewhat predictably, Aussie-hating Monique, rapping Elaina and 'third-introduction's a charm' Charlotte were all sent packing, with the obligatory 'thanks for everything you've given me' moment.
Will Zac be able to think of a new compliment when it's no longer evening and the girls no longer look stunning? Will Taylar bind Viarni to a chair and force her to eat the white rose? Will anyone eat the chips on the kitchen bench in the mansion?
We'll find out on Three this Sunday at 7pm. In the meantime, the first two episodes can be viewed on ThreeNow.co.nz.
Newshub.
