Tonight on The Bachelor the girls went on another heavily sponsored Air Asia flight, this time heading to Thailand's capital city - "bonkers" Bangkok.
It was a special episode for me, because while I know the girls are on their quest to find love, it seems I've found my own. There is supposed to be a certain impartial nature to these recaps but I can't lie. I've found a true love and her name is Lily.
It was the first single date for everyone's favourite sk8r girl, which was announced with a dramatic lap-based drum roll from all the girls (except Karina). She doesn't do drum rolls because she's at a different life stage to the rest of the girls.
The date was a nice break frorm the sweaty exercise-based ones we're used to, making sweet dessert together before going to drink cocktails. Finally, a date I can get on board with.
Lily downed sparkly cocktail after cocktail, causing Zac (and myself) to stare with open admiration. Maybe it's the Kiwi binge-drinking mentality in me, but this is a gal I can get on board with.
Side note: if Zac says "I've brought 'so-and-so' on a date here" one more time I will scream. You didn't set that up Zac - you're as surprised as every woman from your harem is.
But Lily was on point tonight, with words of wisdom like something out of a 21st century fortune cookie, including this gem: "I used to think I wasn't an affectionate person but then I realised I was just holding the hand of douchebags."
I can feel myself on the cusp of playing that 'who's the most likely to turn lesbian' game the girls played when they were buzzed last night.
But while their chemistry was explosive, the group date was a fizzer.
We knew it was off to a bad start when Ally described how "we all thought we were going to be riding horses, but when we saw the tuk tuks we were like, 'Yes, hold onto your tuk tuks'."
Ally, I'm glad you've got a future as a yoga instructor, because your future ain't bright as a member of Mensa.
The date did provide a real highlight though: Vanessa's incredible dolphin impression. Why would you need to be on The Bachelor when you have talents like that in your arsenal, Vanessa? You surely have male dolphins lining up for you.
Thank God she has a future in animal impressions because she showed some real doubts in the process at the evening's cocktail party, saying, "It was all too much with all these girls lining up for same guy."
Sorry, which show did you think you were going on Vanessa?
As the rose ceremony came down to the final two, it seems that Vanessa's incredible animal impressions saved her, and Ally was sent home. She gave the clichéd thank-you to Zac and told him they were all amazing, as they do every week. He said the process was getting harder and harder, as he does every week.
Something has got to pick up at these rose ceremonies soon, or face my wrath.
Will Lily ever respond to my texts? Will Lily ever respond to my Facebook messages? Please Lily, I'm begging you, accept my friend request.
Tune in at 7pm on Sunday to find out.
Newshub.
Watch the episode again on Three Now.
