Review: Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Men Tell No Tales

The fifth instalment of the beloved Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has sailed into cinemas.

Jack Sparrow is back on the high seas - high being the operative word.

Johnny Depp takes his drunken sailor schtick to the next level here - to rather sobering effect.

The spawn of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) goes on a mission to free his father of his curse, enlisting Sparrow of course.

There are plenty of water-borne baddies standing in their way.

Sparrow makes more enemies than merriment these days after all, as this whole lumbering fiasco battles back and forth in its forsaken battle for the box office.

Captain Jack has long been a favourite of mine, and to watch him limply, sadly and apathetically stagger and splutter his way across the Pirates finish line would have made me very sad, had I not already died of boredom.

Some cool CGI and welcome input from Javier Bardem and Geoffrey Rush took the edge off this otherwise turgid regurgitation of the Pirates legend.

Two stars.

:: Director: Joachim Ronning, Espen Sandberg

:: Starring: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Kaya Scodelario, Brenton Thwaites, Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Geoffrey Rush, Golshifteh Farahani

:: Running Time: 129 mins

:: Rating: M Supernatural themes and violence

:: Release Date: In cinemas now

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