Tonight's episode of MAFS NZ was basically centred entirely on food, which was very upsetting, as I haven't eaten dinner and I'm STARVING.
Luckily, the home visits were distracting. Getting to take a trip around New Zealand from the comfort of my desk was great, because who needs to take annual leave and book pricey flights, when you can see all the glory Lincoln has to offer on-screen?
Ben and Aaron
Refreshed and recovered from their fight, we greeted Ben and Aaron, as they enjoyed some of Pam's finest margarine on toast for breakfast. Maybe it's the influence of Bel and her Bachelor baking days? (Never forget).
But can we please confront that this is all they eat for brekkie - some chopped rock melon and two pieces of toast between both of them? Sorry, are they doing some live-below-the-line challenge we don't know about?
It was off to Christchurch for the both of them, where they undertook one of Christchurch's most beloved hobbies - going to a BYO.
It was a chance for Ben to meet Aaron's friends and make up for his behaviour at the wedding. He was off to a good start, when he reiterated he'd rather swallow razor blades than move to the city.
Nice!
But the dinner looked like it was going really great. Everyone was chatting and Aaron's friends asked about... look, to be honest I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy focusing on this lit to bits feast.
Aaron's friends over-ordered and I was here for it. Coupley orange chickens for the table? Lovely.
As I've said before, Ben is really growing on me and soon might be one of my faves.
Oh, until he said he preferred cats over dogs.
He is the devil. He must be stopped.
Vicky and Andrew
Vicky and Andrew have also recovered from their blowout at the hairdresser - and not the good kind either. They got all packed up and ready to move down the road.
I honestly don't really know what the point was. There wasn't a whole lot of difference between the gleaming, modern high-rise Auckland apartment and Andrew's gutted-out ramshackle villa.
Vicky wasn't particularly stoked with the whole set-up, but soon cheered up at the thought of eating Andrew's pet pig, Mr Piggles, so that was good.
Meanwhile, Andrew showed his new wife what a cool dude he was, by laying out his finest electric guitars for her arrival. Unfortunately, the toilet wasn't flushed, which ruined the rock 'n' roll illusion somewhat.
But he made it up to her by buying her a huge f**king piece of jewellery, which she was suuuper stoked about.
I really hope Vicky never wins a radio competition. She certainly won't end up on the promo clips.
Things got especially sour, when Andrew went to her family's place for lunch. I was disappointed he wasn't wearing his finest camouflage vest for the occasion.
Vicky's family's spread also looked fantastic and also waistline-friendly, as they allocated exactly one bread roll each. No more, no less fam.
There were tears, but there was also fresh seafood. So win some, lose some, I guess.
Brett and Angel
Angel was a little nervy about introducing Brett to her family - would the bubble of bliss burst?
Luckily, she reassured herself and all us anxious viewers with the thought that her dad would get along with a goldfish. I don't really know if that's a glowing endorsement - every goldfish I've ever had has only ever lasted for like six days.
I hope Stew is resilient, otherwise he must suffer constant heartbreak.
But if it ever gets too much, at least there's this inspirational pillow in Angel's room to turn to in times of stress.
Everyone got along like a house on fire, and Brett got to chat about things like his favourite colour and his asset portfolio - just normal dinner stuff. He then cooked Angel brekkie the next morning, which had bacon, avocado, eggs AND croissants, like it was Christmas or something.
Are you paying attention, Ben and Aaron?
Oh, and there was also a morning Pepsi Max, because we're all adults and if you want a Pepsi Max first thing in the morning, you can bloody well have one.
That's what's great about being a grown-up.
At this point, I had to lie on the ground, I was so hungry. What a night to not bring in dinner.
The two then took a trip down south, so Brett could show off his carving empire in the bright lights, big city of Lincoln, Canterbury. Angel got to get all up in Brett's wood and he was pretty fizzed about it.
The home visit to Lincoln did, however, reveal the first major flaw in Brett and Angel's relationship so far - Brett's family puts f**king strawberries in their salads.
Absolutely not.
Bel and Hadyn
Out of nowhere, Bel and Hadyn came in hot with a night out to one of Haydn's wrestling gigs. The two have been keeping a low profile of late, so it was nice to see them out and about and loved up.
And of course, it was an absolute honour to see The Genetic Pitbull in full fighting mode. I wish I had my GP t-shirt for him to sign.
Hadyn said he made sure he made eye contact with Bel throughout the fight to comfort her, which is how I like to stay connected to all my boyfriends involved in violent brawls.
Haha, I'm joking! I'm single AF.
Married At First Sight NZ airs Sunday and Monday nights on Three. Watch the full episode again on ThreeNow.
Newshub.
