Brendon McCullum says he never wants to cross paths with Chris Cairns again after giving evidence against his fellow Blackcaps team member.
McCullum has spoken out for the first time since Cairns' perjury trial, where the former all-rounder was accused of match-fixing.
Speaking to TVNZ's Seven Sharp, he says while it was a tough process, he knew testifying was the right thing to do.
"The last thing I wanted to do was be in a courtroom testifying against one of my old mates. It's certainly not how I was brought up as well.
"But I felt I had an obligation, especially as captain of New Zealand, to go over and tell my side of the story."
McCullum describes the experience as "horrible" and says it felt like he was put on trial himself after a confidential statement was leaked to the media.
"I was prepared to stand up, even under pressure and under fire from various quarters, and do what I thought was morally right at the time."
Chris Cairns outside court (AAP)
Following the trial, which found Cairns not guilty on all charges, Cairns was asked what his message for McCullum was. Cairns' answer: "Why?"
McCullum says he will never understand how the case became about him versus Cairns.
"Under pressure, people show their true character. It's not the character I thought I knew, and I guess I can never forgive him for that."
It's a chapter of his life and a relationship that McCullum wants to put behind him.
"I'm sure he'll get on with his life, and I'll get on with mine, and let's hope they never cross paths."
"I'm done with it now and I want to move on with the rest of my life and I sure as hell hope that my career is not defined by my involvement with Chris Cairns."