What to do when your child is the bully

  • 19/06/2017

While many parents live in denial that their child would be capable of bullying, chances are your child will play a role in making another child feel miserable at some point.

Most of the time when kids do bully, it’s because the child is unhappy about something themselves, Dave Atkinson, creative and development director at Parenting Place told The AM Show.

"Maybe they've got low self-esteem, maybe they just don't have strategies that other kids have," he said.

These are Dave Atkinson's top three tips for dealing with your child's bullying behaviour.

1. Get your facts straight

Make sure you don't blame your child for something they haven't actually done.

"Everyone hates injustice and kids particularly don’t wanna be told off for something they haven’t done, " Mr Atkinson said.

Dave Atkinson on The AM Show.
Dave Atkinson on The AM Show. Photo credit: The AM Show

2. Teach them something

Have your child learn a lesson from the incident – and made sure they understand the gravity of the hurt they have caused.

"Use this as an opportunity to teach them something. If they have bullied, you don’t wanna minimise that. You want to say to them, "That's not good enough."

Don't minimise your child's bullying.
Don't minimise your child's bullying. Photo credit: Getty

3. Turn it into a positive

When you speak to your child, have them understand that you expect great things from them, and you are disappointed that they have not lived up to those expectations.

"Tell them you're not upset because they are a bad person, you're upset because they are a good kid – they just got this wrong."

"Say, 'I expect more of you. You can do better than this,' because kids rise and fall to the expectations we put on them, so to say to a kid, 'Look, I expect more, that can be a pretty empowering thing.'"

When your child is the victim

If your child is the victim of bullying, Mr Atkinson recommends going straight to the school.

"Keeping kids safe is really really important. If your kid is being bullied, I would absolutely go to the school, talk to them about it and put together a strategy. I would hope every school takes this matter seriously."

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