Goodbye Laser Kiwi, May You Ever Grow in Our Hearts

Laser Kiwi mercilessly dispatches the alternative flag designs.
Laser Kiwi mercilessly dispatches the alternative flag designs.

A mighty totara has fallen. She was cut down in her prime, not by one villain, but by a panel of 12 of them.

The news came this afternoon, when the Flag Consideration Panel released its long-list of 40 potential new flag designs.

Some of them were cool. A lot of them had Silver Ferns, which is the NZTE logo, or in the case of the All Blacks, the protected intellectual property of Dave Clark Design.

None of them were Laser Kiwi.

New Zealanders were understandably upset by this development.

It’s time to remind the Flag Consideration Panel who they are working for. Hint: it’s not God. It’s not even John Key. It’s us, the people.

What got cut-through in this vexed and often hostile debate? It wasn’t the silver fern, or the koru. It was the laser.

What put smiles on our faces when the merest thought of our opponents made us sick? Those flaring green eyes.

She soothed us, she entertained us, and she never stopped, even when the going got tough.

Goodnight Laser Kiwi. Until the morning, goodnight.

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