'Uncle John From Jamaica' by the Vengaboys is a crap song. So too is Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's 'Crank That'.
But for Australian electric cabaret showman Tomás Ford, these crap songs play a key role in his New Zealand Fringe Festival production Craptacular.
To be clear, Ford doesn't consider Craptacular a tribute to crap music.
"No, I definitely hate the songs I'm singing," says Ford. "It's more like, we've got these horrible songs; let's make the best of a bad situation.
Ford got this crap idea after being besieged with crap song requests when DJ'ing in Western Australia.
The Craptacular recipe is fairly simple. Ford picks songs he finds horrendously crap, breaks them down and then smashes them back into something completely new.
During the show he performs such crap songs as Corona's 'Rhythm Of The Night', Adele's 'Hello' and the Black Eyed Peas' 'I Gotta Feeling'.
"Will.i.am is one of the world's worst songwriters of all time," Ford says. "I'm just so disappointed in him."
Ford also performs a version of Radiohead's 'Creep' -- a song he admits isn't actually that crap.
"It's in the show because for a cabaret artist it's the hackiest thing you can do. Everybody has a cover of 'Creep', everybody thinks it's so edgy and subversive."
So, what actually makes a song crap?
"It just has to be something that when I press play, I have the feeling of 'oh god, what am I doing with my life?'."
While in Wellington, Ford will also perform a DJ show at Bodega called Crap Music Rave Party -- a gig that allows him to bring crap music to the masses.
These crap rave parties have become something of a hit in both his native Australia and across the globe, most notably at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
"The way I describe it is, I'm running around for up to six hours, hyperactively selling an underdeveloped idea."
You can request any song you want; the only rule is that it has to be crap.
"The whole room is full of idiots and we just have a great time."
But is it really crap music if people are enjoying it?
"Uh -- yes, it's still crap, but that's almost the point," Ford says. "It's ok to enjoy crap music and acknowledge that it's crap."
Details on Tomás Ford's Craptacular and his Crap Music Rave Party can be found at Ford's Facebook page.
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