The Great Wall review

Matt Damon fights some nasty looking monsters in his latest movie The Great Wall, but the bigger fight on his hands will be at the box office.

With some interesting dreadlocks, some very cool body armour, and a serious looking serious face, Damon hits our big screens on a fantastical monster-mashing mission to win some box office love.

Will he get it? Probably not.

The Great Wall in China is the longest man-made structure in the world, it can be seen from space for goodness sake - yet somehow Damon's character William couldn't see it from the back of a horse.

But never mind, there are far more worrying issues ahead - metaphorically, narratively, and cinematically.

William and his sidekick Tovar galloping through the desert stumble upon an all-out war for survival in the depths of ancient China, as a massive and impressively clad army fight off a gargantuan horde of icky killer monsters intent on breeching the Great Wall, eating humans and feeding their queen.

Commander Lin Mae has a thing or two to say about that, and puts those words into action by leading her fearless army into the monster breech with Damon coming along for the ride.

And that's pretty much the gist of it.

There's nothing very great about The Great Wall. There are one or two good things here and there - the costuming and choreography of the Chinese army is very cool, and I loved the fact the female soldiers kicked serious butt on equal if not greater footing than the men.

However overall this mostly delivered on my pretty low expectations. Two stars.

    The Great Wall

:: Director: Yimou Zhang

:: Starring: Matt Damon, Jing Tian, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe, Andy Lau, Hanyu Zhang, Eddie Peng, Kenny Lin

:: Running Time: 103 minutes

:: Rating: M - Violence

:: Release Date: In cinemas now