OPINION: Naked selfies are like stealing your flatmate's fancy shower gel. We've all done it, but you shouldn't admit it and take care not to get caught.
It's not shocking or rare or scandalous. But whenever someone's naked photos are leaked, we act as though no one has ever dreamt of such debauchery. And then, the even weirder part happens. If they are released, everyone piles in and says that it's the young woman's fault that she took the photos.
She should be ashamed! Tar her! Feather her! Squirt her with super glue and cover her in cornflakes - let that be a lesson to her for ever feeling sexy!
It's as though no one has ever bared so much as an errant nipple on camera before. What's worse is when the girl is being blackmailed and lives in fear of the photos being released.
But we shouldn't have to live like this. This whole equation is wrong. We shouldn't be afraid or ashamed or waiting for the axe to fall… naked photos aren't something to be ashamed of.
I've taken naked photos. I take them, my friends take them, my exes have… basically anyone who can find the camera on a smartphone has taken a naked photo.
I wouldn't normally tell you this. I would have thought it would be too obvious to state. According to Cosmo magazine, 9 in 10 young women under 35 admit to taking naked photos. But apparently we're still pretending it's a dirty thing, done by idiotic heathen harpies. But I do it. You do it. Your old school teachers probably do it.
You should never be ashamed of doing it. (Unless you're a dude sending unsolicited dick pics - because that's gross. Unless we specifically asked, we don't want to see it. We just don't.)
Naked selfies just show another new form of sexual expression. Broadly you send photos to someone you're in a relationship with. (I don't get the wobbly bits out for just anyone.)
You take a hot photo. You know that your partner is going to love it. You feel a thrill of power that you can elicit such a lustful response. It turns you on a little, it turns them on a little… you're just flirting. You're finding another way to enjoy your sexuality. And aren't we supposed to be a liberal, tolerant society who say "hey, I don't care how you get off as long as you're not hurting anyone"?
They also show that you trusted someone. And if they're leaked, it shows that you misjudged this person.
You didn't realise their inherent dickish-ness. Well, that's not your fault. You're in love. You think you're going to get have babies and collect organic pasta together. You see the best in your partner.
That makes it very hard to predict they could ever be as pathetic as to try to publicly humiliate you. And most people only show their nasty sides when they're angry. So you probably never had any indication this even existed in your partner until you guys fell out.
No, until the other person has 'I'm a cock! Don't send nudes!' tattooed on their head, you are forgiven for believing the best in them.
And of course there is the line that you should never put anything compromising in writing. Or in this case pictures. But the thing is that nudes aren't by nature humiliating. It's proof that you enjoy sex. It's not proof you like torturing baby bunnies.
It's made humiliating because everyone says it's disgusting. But that is just hypocrisy - most people send them, and nearly everyone wants to be sent them. So when we laugh at someone for taking nudes, it's just slut-shaming. Oh, it would be fine if we sent them to you. But we sent them to someone else, so we're a whore.
And that's something we need to fix. The onus isn't on the girls not to send them. It's on the public not to be such blatant hypocrites.
In fact we should send more nudes. Just to show that we know we have nothing to be ashamed of. It's not our fault everyone else is backwards.
Those photos do show a terrible thing. Not for the person in them, but the person who leaked them. That person clearly does not understand how to behave with basic human dignity. They're the ones who deserve to be super glued and cornflaked.
Verity Johnson is a Newshub columnist.