Opinion: Why the angry men of the internet need to please pipe down

OPINION: Social media is a glorious place in 2017. It provides a constructive means for users across the world to come together and share ideas; supporting each other to make the world a better place.

Unfortunately, it also provides a very useful platform for men to be bigoted crybabies about matters that really don't concern them.

No time has this become clearer than in the past week, when the conservative sector of the internet has had a grand old time stamping their feet over two cases in particular.

Alamo Theatre in Austin had no idea of the shit-storm they were about to set off online when they announced a special screening of Wonder Woman just for... wait for it... women.

The backlash was swift, with such gems of comments like:

"Er, isn't this kinda inherently sexist? Not to mention the fact that the legality is questionable given the Civil Rights Act" 

 "If you had a 'guys only' screening of Thor 3 there'd be uproar and you know it."

That one was my personal favourite, as it called attention to the decades of struggle men have faced to get heroes of their gender represented onscreen.

It went on and on and on, in tweets that I don't have the word count or the patience to transcribe here. You can go and see them for yourself. Have a bucket handy.

It calls attention to the major issue I have with this kind of uproar that seems to be erupting daily online.

I absolutely love, love, love that you're getting geared up about sexism, millennial men! Unfortunately, you've accidentally stumbled across an issue that isn't sexism. Goddamn.

Nobody is telling you that you cannot go to a screening of Wonder Woman. There was ONE women-only screening, which then got extended to two due to the hot demand.

It's funny what triggers people into taking action. Women are constantly paid 75 percent of what men are? Meh. Only 4.2 percent of the 500 largest US companies are led by female CEOs. Whatever. Only 12 percent of Americans have access to paid maternity leave, which is considered a benefit by employers. Who cares!

A movie theatre adds an extra screening for women to gather and watch the long-awaited big screen celebration of an important feminist icon. THIS IS SEXISM! FREE THE PATRIARCHY! BURN THE THEATRE TO THE GROUND!

I don't know why you're so concerned about a group of women all gathering in the same room. Maybe you're worried we're going to talk about you or something. Who knows?

One thing you can be pretty sure of is that there will be a crossover with a large number of the same people who are up in arms about videogame Far Cry 5. Unveiled earlier this month, it features what appears to be a fundamentalist Christian American cult as the villains.

This game has proven to be especially provocative, as people are concerned that it may be encouraging an engrained ideology towards violence in a country that is undergoing a serious social battle around gun ownership.

HA! Just kidding!

Nah, gamers are worked up because the bad guys are white, Christian Americans.

There is a hilarious yet tragic petition online trying to stop the game. Below, I've featured some of the best comments from fired up signees.

"It's time to draw a line in the sand". (Congrats on using the grammatically correct version of 'it's' because that's the only positive thing I can say about your comment). "We, the America gamers that make up the majority of your user base, demand to you cancel this game or alter it to be less offensive to your main player."

"I had Far Cry 2, Africa is actually like that," rages another.

"I didn't own Far Cry 3, but tropical islands in the pacific are actually like that outside of the resorts. I owned Far Cry 4, Eurasia is actually like that.

"Far Cry 5? Now hold on, woa woa! You publish this game, it will be one giant lie to the world on how America actually is... If ISIS starts bombing the (American) Mid-West, it'll be two things:

1.)Actually kind of tactically wise.

2.) All you peoples' f**king faults."

Another gem:  "Even if you insist on making the villains American Christians, consider mixing the races a bit not target white people exclusively... throw in some blacks and Mexicans".

Now let's just take a step back and acknowledge that there are some very effective trolls on the internet, who enjoy acting like bigoted pieces of shit, when instead they're just inflammatory pieces of shit.

But there is also a large sector of the public who obviously weren't cuddled enough as children, and so feel the need to cry and whinge to get picked up out of their cribs. These are the people that are taking the platform of free speech and using it to dribble toxic garbage.

You feeling OK, men of the world? Need a lie down?

Sarah Templeton is a digital entertainment reporter for Newshub online. 

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