Michael Bay's billion-dollar Transformers franchise has another chapter - this time with Oscar-winner Sir Anthony Hopkins helping to headline the cast.
The franchise of ever-diminishing returns is back on its mission to transform dreams into dollars at the expense of our souls.
Welcome to Transformers: The Last Knight.
Mark Wahlberg banks the paycheque once again, returning as hero of the Autobots, Cade Yeager.
Optimus is out floating in space somewhere; Bumblebee is still searching for his voice; Michael Bay is still wandering around the back lot looking for a plot to this rambling mess.
While he searches, he tries to divert our attention by name-checking other forms of actual entertainment, from Star Wars to Stranger Things, Game of Thrones to Downton Abbey, Hunt for Red October to King Arthur and ET.
And did I mention Star Wars? C3PO rip-offs, Tie Fighter drones - the list is endless.
In fact if you make use of this movie simply as a drinking game you'll be drunk in a heartbeat.
So is it passable for Transformers-mad kids? If they're bored enough, maybe.
But it's just so loud, so annoying and just so relentlessly pointless, that they may never forgive you.
One star.
Transformers: The Last Knight
:: Director: Michael Bay
:: Starring: Mark Wahlberg, John Goodman, Anthony Hopkins, Laura Haddock, John Turturro, Stanley Tucci, Gemma Chan, Josh Duhamel, Isabela Moner
:: Running time: 148 minutes
:: Rating: M for violence and offensive language
:: Release date: In cinemas now
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