Daniel Rutledge: Believe it or not, a 'de-feminised' edit of The Last Jedi exists

OPINION: The only thing that upsets a snowflake manbaby more than a bog-standard woman, is a woman in a Star Wars movie.

Fortunately for them, a dark lord editor has risen up and erased any sight of icky, cooties-carrying girls from The Last Jedi.

Now, men who hate women everywhere can illegally download a 'de-feminised fan edit' of the film which generously caters to their fantasy about a universe that is strictly boys-only.

It weighs in at a slim 46 minutes, rather than the 152 minute original.

"[The Last Jedi] can now at least be viewed without feeling nauseous about most of the terrible big and small decisions they made in this film," the anonymous uploader says (via indiewire).

"The intro sequence is now very watchable and actually much cooler without all of Leia's nitpicking. Now it's all one united Resistance fighting without inner conflict and that's much more satisfying to watch. Due to the extreme shortening, the whole movie is much more fast-paced now."

Of course, The Last Jedi's story won't make any sense if Leia, Rey, Holdo, Rose et al are removed. But for the scum that frequents 4chan, Return of Kings and the other worst corners of the internet, making sense doesn't matter - this is still a 'victory' against the mean, progressive world that keeps letting girls be included in stuff.

You have to wonder about the loser who dedicated the time it would've taken to create this stupid thing. Imagine the infinite activities he could've done instead that would've been more worthy.

Vice Admiral Holdo is frustrating some viewers by being a female
Vice Admiral Holdo is frustrating some viewers by being a female Photo credit: Lucasfilm

It's also amusing to think of other edits that bigots might want to make to movies that would cut the run time down so drastically.

Maybe a neo-Nazi could edit all the non-white characters out of the Fast and Furious movies, then all eight could be watched in under an hour.

If there were a pool of misandrists large enough and pathetic enough to rival the internet's population of misogynists, then we might get a women-only version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with a runtime of 15 minutes or so.

The uploader of The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit also described it as the film "minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff", because... there's layers of irony to his misogyny or something?

If he was doing it all as a joke, he sucks at telling jokes - but there is one part that is absolutely hilarious. In his notes on what he cut out, he specifically mentions culling the scene in which Luke Skywalker drinks mythical green milk.

That's right, even the idea of milk from non-existent female alien beings upsets this fool.


Daniel Rutledge is the entertainment editor of Newshub.

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