This year's Oscars red carpet was the year of the dramatic gown, and why not? If you're going to wear sequins and trains and a dramatic plunge anywhere it may as well be the Academy Awards. Nudes reigned supreme, and not even the kind you have in that secret app that looks like a calculator on your phone. (Sorry, just ruined it for you).
Here are my picks for the best (and some of the worst) red carpet looks at the 90th Academy Awards.
Rodriguez is one girl who can bloody do a gown. Despite her show Jane the Virgin being in its fourth season, she always just seems so excited to be there, wearing a pretty dress and looking glam. It's so endearing, you can't even hate her for looking this good. This dress, nude OFC, is perfection. You can gauge how much I'll like a dress by how much it looks like someone has chucked a bucket of sequins over their head, and this one fits the brief. The folds of the skirt almost look like it has pockets - as we all know the hallmark of a great dress. The slicked back ponytail is epic. How can she pull that off and not look like her face is the size of the moon? Asking for a mate.
Goddam Salma Hayek. She looks like a cross between an extra in the prom scene in Grease and a 90s Barbie. If anyone else in the entire world tried to wear it, I would have nothing but negative things to say. But its Salma Hayek so of course she looks absolutely phenomenal. This dress is making five-year-old me cry with longing. Imagine being able to put those kind of sparkles on, how could you possibly have a bad day?
Oh Margot. I love you much, why have you done this to me? The betrayal is so bitter in my mouth. Obviously Robbie picked up her dress in a cheap wedding store on the way to the awards, and realised in the car she needed to jazz it up a bit, so she went to one of those all year round Christmas stores to grab some tinsel. The only thing that could make it worse would be if she had some stupid little clutch bag hanging from one ha- Oh. It's one big white hot mess, like when you stare directly into the sun. But at least her hair is nice. Let's all look at this picture of Margot Robbie in 2015's Focus to recover.
Holy smokes, never has a dress caused as much newsroom contention as this one. "Its my grandmother's quilt", "it's a curtain", etc, etc. I nearly had my role as red carpet writer stripped by admitting that I quite like it (Let's face it I'm wildly underqualified for this gig anyway as I sit here with porridge down my dress). But at least we can all agree that Andra Day lying down to get this extra AF shot on the red carpet was an absolute highlight. Bow down to this queen.
Did Emma Stone get lost on the way to a job interview? I'm so disappointed in her. I like the suit option don't get me wrong, but it's the Acadamy Awards for Christ's sake. There's a time and a place for wearing a pair of pants from Portmans - a Tuesday afternoon board meeting for example. Or the meeting you might have with your stylist after the academy Awards to discuss why you wore this outfit to the Academy Awards.
Jennifer Lawrence told ET last month she had a crush on Chalamet and that she was "buttering him up like a pig for slaughter". Well move over J-Law I'm sneaking in. And we all know who's gonna come out on top in that battle. (Me. I'm talking about me, just go with it). I mean come on, who can pull of an all-white tuxedo? If I wore this I would have coffee and some sort of mince-based dish all down myself in approximately 7.2 seconds, but he's rocking around fresh as a frickin' daisy. It's Timothee Chalamet's world and we're all just living in it.
Oh and his name is just fun to say.