Dancing With The Stars NZ: The future is female

The second week of Dancing With The Stars NZ kicked off its usual uncomfortable group dance scene, this one including Suzy Cato doing the chicken dance.

I would have several things to say about that (including comments about how you're not on children's television any more, Cato), but I have her in the office sweepstake, so instead I'll say it was unique and unexpected.

If there's one thing that last night's episode taught me, it's that this season is for the ladiezzz. The phrase 'the future is female' is no more relevant than when thinking about this season from perhaps, episode eight.

For the female celebrities, the biggest criticisms were to point their toes more, and lift their frames higher. For the men it was little things, like, learn to dance. 

Here are some highlights from the show.

Naz Khanjani 

Naz on Dancing With The Stars
Photo credit: Supplied

It's not easy to rock a tango dress and a red lip. The multiple times I've tried on a Wednesday at work have resulted in some funny looks. But Khanjani hit this week's look out of the park, and as for the dance... I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think she might actually take this out. 

Her tango was amazing, her bold lip was flawless, her lashes almost knocked her dance partner's eye out, and the only low point was when somebody's mum screamed out "bravo!" repeatedly from the audience after having too many chardonnays and deciding they'd quite like to be on the tele. 

It was Khanjani's night. Even The brunette lady judge was forced to agree with the blonde lady judge, which you can tell was physically painful for both of them. 

Go Naz! (No more cheerleading outfits though, I'm begging you.) 

Jess Quinn 

My absolute new girl crush Jess Quinn (Quinny as I like to call her, because we're mates) came out looking like Jasmine from Aladdin, or as Dai Henwood said, "a stylish Kelly Tarlton's!" (wot).  She danced the quickstep, and can we just take a second to appreciate this woman? She moves 100 times better than most of us on our best days, she's graceful, she seems genuinely nice, and if Zac Franich's Insta story is anything to go by, she's not afraid to do a smush face against a car window - which is my kinda gal.

I don't know if Quinny has the pizzaz and the 'star power' to go all the way. But I do know I sure as hell wanna go for tapas with her asap. Jess! Call me! 

Chris Harris

Chris Harris on Dancing With The Stars
Photo credit: Supplied

Is there anyone more endearing than Chris Harris? When he rehearses in a shirt tucked into that belt and jeans? When he plays some backyard cricket out in the Canterbury Autumn leaves? RIP my heart.  

It was therefore a shame they chose to begin their Foxtrot with that weird sequence like he was a creepy dude hitting on an uninterested woman at a bar. And unfortunately, the look on his face the whole time was akin to mine when I'm in a meeting and I suddenly think I left my hair straighteners on. 

But by George, he tried his hardest. He was just everybody's dad out there wasn't he?

God I'm a wreck, I'll be on medication before the season is out.

Roger Farrelly 

Roger on Dancing With The Stars
Photo credit: Supplied

It was a tough start this week for Farrelly as he realised he can't do two things at once, which is fine for his job where he sits and talks, but probably not so great for a job where he's supposed to be, you know, dancing.

The biggest concern for the Rock DJ (how long has it taken me to make that Robbie Williams reference in my own head? Too long) was how his listeners would react to Top 40 Week. Oh, the horror of dancing to the music of a man who wears sequins and has never sunk a Cody's on the back of Harley! 

But Farrelly was nothing short of heart-breakingly sweet as he danced like a dad at a wedding after the open bar closes, and again, I felt like I had to pop a pill to deal with the emotion of it all. 

The low point was when all his fans in the audience put those terrifying cut-outs of his face like something out of Scream. But you can't have everything. 

The next episode of DWTS NZ will air 7:30pm, Monday on Three. Sunday's episode can be watched again in full on ThreeNow.