What it's like speed-dating the Aussie cast of Geordie Shore

Speed-dating the Australian cast of Geordie Shore involved semi-nudity, slapping and a lot of awkwardness.

There was even a point at which I thought we might need to bleep the entire interview. 

In the basement of the Newshub studios, a table was laid with a scrap of gingham fabric and a vase of plastic flowers we scrounged from Jono and Ben's prop department.

There was romance in the air.

Well, not quite, actually.

These are, after all, 'The Goldies' - a group of four Australian party animals, thrust into the infamous UK series Geordie Shore for the latest season, which was filmed on the Gold Coast.

Dee, Alex, Chrysten and Nick entered in a whirlwind of innuendo and fake tan.

I countered their salacious energy with a barrage of questions that ran the gamut from "What kind of fruit are you?" to "Do you have a six-pack?"

They're clearly stoked with their new-found reality TV fame, but remain pretty down-to-earth.

At one point, I quizzed Instagram model Chrysten on the worst thing she's done after a big night out. She tells me she once ate a kebab that she'd not only left out all night, but had tucked into her bed while she slept on the couch.

I felt an equal mix of respect and concern around the potential for food-poisoning.

As the dates progressed, all four of the Goldies invited me either back to their place, out for a night on the town, or in Alex's case - to crawl behind the studio curtain behind him.

That was where I brought the speed-dating to an end, retreating for a large glass of cold water.

Geordie Shore is broadcast in New Zealand on MTV.