Why Jono and Ben will never be Newshub presenters

Jono and Ben's lost Newshub audition tape has been revealed, showcasing glaring evidence of why they're not cut out for hard-hitting journalism.

"We're live at the scene!" the comedy duo announce at the start of the video, despite not being live from any scene at all.

The funnymen, who are returning to Three with their own show on Thursday night, then got into some of the curlier headlines taken from the Newshub website.

A story titled Emergency services rescue woman trapped between windows while attempting to dispose of an unflushable poo prompted a touch too much information from Jono.

Showing blatant disregard for traditional news format, he recounted a charming personal anecdote of a similar nature.

"This happened to me," Jono said, detailing an incident that occurred while visiting an open home.

"I had my son on lookout outside the front door."

A debate almost derailed the 'broadcast' when the pair was faced with the headline: GCSB refuses to provide proof Bill English is not a rock, as they argued the evidence for and against.

"Where is the proof? Have you seen any evidence he's not a rock?" asked Jono.

"He's a little bit boring, but he's not really a rock," Ben countered.

Emotions almost got the better of Ben when delivering the headline: 40yo NZ goose in bisexual love triangle with swans dies.

"I read about this, he was in a love triangle, and unfortunately he passed away. It was very sad... Although, geese are quite scary when you go down and feed them. Very aggressive," he added. 

Jono briefly showed some journalistic promise, determined to get to the bottom of the story.

"Who was following the love life of the bisexual goose and the two swans so closely they figured out they were in a love triangle?" he asked.

Viewers would likely have been left wondering if left at the mercy of Jono and Ben's investigative skills.

Fortunately, the pair has been able to move on from their failed television news careers, as their own show Jono and Ben returns to Three, 7.30pm on Thursdays, starting this week. 


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