Married At First Sight NZ 2018 episode 6 recap: An ocean pash and a lover's clash

We're back in Bali with our honeymooning Married At First Sight NZ 2018 couples, and the dinner party is going off.

When we return to the festivities, the newlyweds appear to be several Bintangs deep and feeling fine.

Even the experts' lonely shack has had an upgrade – they've either been shipped to Bali as well, or someone from the art department has gone ham in K Mart's exotic décor section.   

Married At First Sight New Zealand S02E06.
Photo credit: supplied

Fraser's decided to use the dinner party as an opportunity to campaign for the return of bum-bags as "a highly practical travel accessory".

I'm not going to lie, I'm here for it.

"Fraser Lee for president!" cheers Ottie, which seems extreme, but considering the current leader of the free world, also makes a lot of sense. 

Fraser in Married At First Sight NZ season two.
Photo credit: MediaWorks

Puppet-master Ottie moves swiftly on to asking everyone about their favourite animals – and Dan and Yuki both answer "giraffe" simultaneously.

This would be super cute, except I can't stop thinking about last night's episode, when Ottie revealed she once almost bought four severed giraffe legs to turn into a coffee table.

Better living, everyone!

It doesn't take long for Ksenia to go full My Super Sweet 16 brat-mode, as she realises she's the only one who didn't get sent a pre-wedding gift from her partner.

"I don't think I like my husband, because I got nothing," she says. 

"Yesterday he got me fake flowers!"

Julia tries to mediate the situation by pointing out "the thought was there", but Ksenia fixes her with a look as cold as a winter in Siberia. 

While his wife sulks, Wayne chops back a beer, a red wine and a white wine in quick succession – a combination fit for a drunk auntie ransacking the dregs of the drinks table at a 21st. 

Wayne hits the booze in Married At First Sight NZ 2018 episode 6.
Photo credit: supplied

"Oh dear!" the experts quaver from their glorified shipping container, where they'd probably kill for a buttery chardonnay. 

The next day, Gareth is dutifully off to get a list of words tattooed on his thigh, despite clearly being blotto when he agreed to it.

Surely, this inspires a level of next-day regret usually reserved for those times you realise you've created a group chat called 'let's go to the zoo tomorrow' with a bunch of strangers you met at a club.  

Amongst delicate prose chosen by the other couples such as "dickhead" and "Asian goodness", Ottie's chosen to have a 21-letter-long German word inked on her new hubby.

She thought it meant "something to do with love" but it actually means "someone you don't want to spend your life with".

Is it bad to enjoy someone else's misfortune as much as I'm enjoying this majestic moment? I may need to have some stern words with myself later.

To be fair, Gareth doesn't seem too worried - but then again, he does have a portrait of a rabid Donald Duck tattooed on his neck.

Tattoos in Bali on MAFS NZ.
Photo credit: MediaWorks

Meanwhile, the strange new asexual foursome that is David, Julia, Sam and Tayler take a snorkelling trip, navigating both the high seas and the fact that nobody's getting laid.

Tayler faces his fears of the ocean, and is rewarded with a short but actually very sweet pash from Sam.

I feel a faint glimmer of hope for these two, but Sam quickly crushes that by assuring the producers "it means nothing yet".

When Sam kissed Tayler in MAFS NZ.
Photo credit: MediaWorks

Dan and Yuki remain as cute, well adjusted and bad for reality TV as ever.

In fact, the only time there's any level of jeopardy on their picture perfect date is when the pair is nearly gets tangled up in a kite string, but then doesn't.

Thrilling. 

Yuki and Dan are the perfect MAFS couple.
Photo credit: MediaWorks

With the honeymoons over, it's time for the couples to take their bad singlet-tans and Bintang hangovers to their new inner-city apartments.

Move-in day brings with it a plethora of new issues. Expert Tony briskly announces: "The romantic phase is over!", as Ottie unpacks a giant cow skull from her hand luggage.

Monique must cope with Fraser's inability to make a decent cup of tea, which more closely resembles boiled milk.

I suspect he's the kind of guy that puts the milk in before the teabag, too; which I'm pretty sure is illegal, and can get you fired from New Zealand.

Ksenia is left confused as to why Wayne doesn't want to carry her bags anymore. It is a real head-scratcher, after a honeymoon where she compared him to hideous long-toothed fish and told him he had man-boobs.

Worst of all is Julia, whose free spirit vibes are out the window. She's nearly tearing her hair out over the fact she's just not feeling it with David… and he's starting to figure it out. 

Julia is GUTTED she's not getting laid on Married At First Sight NZ.
Photo credit: supplied

The interim solution to this pressing problem is to share every waking moment, meal and intimate discussion with Sam and Tayler, who have their own attraction issues – not that Tayler has any idea.

This is problematic on many levels. For one, Sam "doesn't share food"; so at this rate, everyone will die of starvation before they can even figure out they're not into to each other.

As the old adage goes, "when it doubt, have a Baileys on ice for breakfast", which is exactly what Gareth and Ottie choose to do on their first morning in their new digs.

And with the stress of family visits on the cards next week, I can't say I blame them.

Married At First Sight NZ airs on Sundays at 7pm, and Mondays and Tuesdays at 7.30pm on Three. Previous episodes can be viewed on ThreeNow. 

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