Kim Kardashian has given fans a behind-the-scenes, slightly distressing look at the lengths she went to in order to fit into her Met Gala dress.
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In a video for Vogue, the 38-year-old reality TV star says she chose designer Thierry Mugler to create her look because he "invented camp". She fails to explain, however, why it was necessary to squeeze her frame into a corset that looks as though it would be too big for a Bratz Doll.
Barely breathing in her body prison, Kim processes what her new restricted range of movement will mean for her future.
"Anna, if I don't sit down for dinner, now you know why. I'll be walking around mingling, talking - but I can't hardly sit," she gasps.
Babe, come on. Even if you could sit down for dinner, you wouldn't be able to digest it, after rearranging your internal organs in the name of haute couture.
"I've never seen a team like this before," Kim exhales as three men wrestle her into the silicon dress.
"This is like, beyond, what I ever thought couture was."
Well, I've never had my own blood injected into my face as a beauty treatment, Kim, but sometimes people do crazy things to try and look good.
If you're starting become suspicious that the head Kardashian is really just a highly refined piece of artificial intelligence created to brainwash vulnerable young women, never fear! She's totally human, honest.
"I am going to eat doughnuts tomorrow though," she confesses.
"I have a delivery at 8.30 in the morning of two dozen mini doughnuts."
I'm sure your stomach will thank you for that, Kim, providing it's still intact.