Forget red roses, handwritten love notes and holding a boom box over your head in the rain - everyone knows, today, a well-timed Instagram like is the height of romance.
How interesting then, that just days after Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk's break-up, Lady Gaga's ex Christan Carino dropped a double-tap on the newly single model's latest snap.
Here's a brief breakdown of what makes this development particularly spicy, if you're confused:
- October 2018: Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper set hearts aflame around the world with their chemistry in the movie A Star Is Born
- The two then take their chiselled cheekbones and penchant for touching each other on a press tour, during which time Gaga tells anyone who will listen that Cooper is the personification of a unicorn riding a rainbow and she is obsessed with him
- Everyone is shooketh about the absurd levels of sexual tension between the pair
- February 2019: Gaga calls off her engagement to Carino, while the rumour mill churns ever faster
- Later that same month: Cooper and Gaga perform 'Shallow' from A Star Is Born at the 2019 Oscars. They stare longingly at each other, they come within an inch of a kiss, the world collectively shrieks in terror and delight at their television screens
- Present day: Cooper and Shayk call it quits, oh my God.
Shayk, a model and the mother of Cooper's two-year-old daughter, simply did what any sensible person with a butt like hers would do following a break up: post an incredibly hot picture of herself to social media.
Carino's bold move, spotted by eagle-eyed fans and reported on by the New York Post, could of course be nothing but that's not much fun.
Everyone in this bizarre love square is annoyingly good-looking and talented. It seems only fair then, that they should all find happiness with each other's exes and continue to populate the planet with beautiful offspring, blessed with creative abilities and strong eyebrows. The end.