Jeez, things are pretty freaky out there at the moment, huh? As the coronavirus pandemic ramps up, so does our collective anxiety.
At a time when it's easy to feel helpless, one of the best things we can do to #FlattenTheCurve of COVID-19 cases is to stay at home wherever possible.
Self-isolation and social distancing are tricky, scary, possibly lonely concepts, but they're important - and there's more than one upshot. Alongside potentially saving lives, you might be getting a free pass to waste as much time as you like on the internet without the guilt.
In aid of the latter, I have for you a small list of obscure, fun, uplifting and downright stupid YouTube videos to soothe your soul and provide a break from reality for just a minute or two.
I'd love to say this is a carefully curated, up-to-date collection of online masterpieces, but honestly, it's just a bunch of videos that warm my heart and feature frequently on my embarrassing YouTube history.
NSYNC Performs 'Tearin' Up My Heart' (1999) | MTV Spring Break Throwback
Let's go back to a simpler time. A time when getting a tribal sun tattooed around your belly button was a dope idea. A time when zip-off cargo shorts were the practical style choice du jour. It's Spring Break in Cancun in the late '90s, and NSYNC are performing.
Highlights of this inspirational live entertainment moment include:
- Flawlessly choreographed dance breaks
- An inexplicable catwalk of stiff models who don't know if they should be strutting, lip syncing or grinding on Justin Timberlake
- Lance Bass pouring bottled water on the heads of the audience.
Hairless Cat in Ugly Sweater Falls off Table
Yes, it's a sharp change of pace, but try and keep up, guys. The following is not your average cat video. You might think the title kind of gives the whole thing away, but trust: suspense, surprise and untold delights await you in the next 20 seconds. I bet you'll watch it at least thrice.
OH MY DAYUM ft. @Daym Drops
This phenomenal autotuned burger review was recommended to me by a friend, and it was one of the rare times that a mate implores you: "watch till the end, it gets better, honest" and it's actually true.
Let me be that friend for you. This is what the internet was made for.
Service Update - A Short Film
Jamaican immigrant Carl Downer is a man who does the tube announcements at London's Victoria station. Carl is also a modern day hero with a super-human ability to spread love and joy throughout even the mankiest underground train station.
This is a guy whose reggae MC service updates - "the vibes is nice y'know?" - force crowds of hardened British commuters to crack a smile first thing in the morning, so I'm fairly confident he'll be able to give you a dose of warm fuzzies.
Remember everyone, just like Carl says: "Nice it up and spice it up, show the massive some love."
Funny Parrot (When u are alone at home)
Honestly? Just some high quality cockatoo content. Plus, a few ideas of activities you might like to do while in self-isolation, such as screaming into a plastic cup.
This is hip-hop!
You didn't think we'd get through this thing without a dance tutorial, did you? Nah-uh, partner, if we're hanging out at home for weeks on end, we're staying active! We're keeping it funky while looking after our minds and bodies! We're learning some hip-hop moves!
Sure, I could have linked you this video of Kiwi dance legends the Royal Family killing at an international hip-hop competition last year, but the only movement you'd be doing then is picking your jaw up off the floor at the end.
Instead, I give you '80s dance instructor Dena Rizzo. She'll teach you the hip-hop hands, head and presumably other body parts, too. She's so good, Bob's Burgers parodied her.
And on that note, dear friends, in the words of Dena: "Peace, I'm out."