Vomit, food-throwing and hearing loss: The 7 Days comedians relive their worst shows ever

For most people, bombing a stand-up comedy set in front of a packed crowd is nothing more than nightmare fodder. We've all had those dreams - you find yourself stood in the centre of a brightly lit stage, your clammy hands inexplicably clutching a microphone as you stutter through a cacophony of boos. 

But for the select few that choose comedy as their career, this is an ever-present threat. According to the cast of 7 Days, it's not just hecklers professional funny people have to look out for - there's involuntary bodily functions, unexpected animals in the audience and several kinds of health hazards to be on guard for. 

No wonder then that the country's best comedians keep coming back to the iconic comedy game show, where they can flex their funny muscles in the relative safety of a television environment with the magic of editing. 

With the country very much in need of a laugh and live entertainment still shrouded in uncertainty, the return of 7 Days to Kiwi screens on Thursday nights couldn't be more timely.  

With the first episode just hours away from its debut, Newshub asked some of the stars of the newest season to relive their absolute worst gigs ever. 

Paul Ego 

At someone else's gig once I really blew it. Jeremy Corbett and I were co-giving away an award. We said 'and the winner is...' announced who the winner was, and I stepped backwards, just into blackness. There was a big gap in the stage I hadn't seen and I disappeared down into the mosh pit of all these teenagers - I think I squashed about four of them. I was quite a lot heavier then than I am now. 

Melanie Bracewell 

A man, halfway through the show, vomited all over a third of the crowd, and they were forced to leave. I had to perform the rest of the show whilst they had a spotlight on me, and a spotlight on a guy with a mop, cleaning it up. 

Jeremy Corbett 

When I was at Palmerston North Boy's High School, several of us put together a band for a talent quest - we got third place. But the girl's high school invited us to come along at lunchtime and perform. Long story short, at about 16 years old, I stood in a hall of about 1200 girls who were throwing their lunch at me because the band was so bad. After that, no other death on stage really compares. 

Rhys Mathewson 

There was a time at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival where I was having a really bad run - not many people were coming. There were three people in the crowd, so I thought 'I'll shake their hands at the start of the gig'. I accidentally started an hour-long show by standing on their dog. I didn't know you were allowed dogs at comedy shows! They weren't blind. 

Laura Daniel 

I'm part of a musical comedy duo with my real-life partner, and in our show, we have a bit where I slap him on the face. I slapped him so hard that he lost his hearing. Only problem is that it's a musical comedy show, so he couldn't hear to play the piano for the next song...

Dai Henwood 

My opening night was sold out, about 100 people, standing ovation. On the second night, there were 36 people in there, not too bad. But 10 minutes in, 34 of those 36 people walked out. They had been picked from the bar and asked if they wanted to see my show, and 10 minutes in they obviously didn't want to see my show. 

With two people left, I stopped the show. I asked a gentleman - he would have been in his early 60s - 'what are you still doing there?'. He said: 'Is your mum Carolyn Henwood?' and I said 'Yes, she is'. He said 'Oh, I think I went to school with her' and then he walked out. The other guy was just a really pissed mate of my tech. 

7 Days returns Thursday August 20, 8.30pm on Three.