John Mulaney shared the unexpected response he received from his former drug dealer when the comedian texted him to say he would no longer be a customer due to his newly found sobriety.
During his opening monologue on Saturday Night Live, the television star spoke about having to "break up" with his drug dealer over text message.
"I texted my main dealer, Arvin, first," Mulaney explained. "And I said, 'Hey, I'm deleting and blocking you. I'm sober now. I'm never going to buy drugs again.'
"I'm polite, so I didn't know how to end the text, so I was like, 'But... thank you for all of the nights that became days and your inspired professionalism'."
The veteran SNL host said Arvin surprised him with a response before he was able to block him.
"He texts me back, he goes, 'Hey I'm so proud of you, I'm so happy that you got sober. I only bought drugs to sell to you because I was worried about you and I didn't want you to get worse stuff off the street'," Mulaney said.
"And I'm breaking up with this guy? So I can't block him now, I text him back. I go, 'Hey, oh my God you sweet man, you only bought drugs to sell to me? Did you sell drugs to other people?' He said, 'No'."
The 39-year-old TV star then had another burning question.
"I said, 'This is a weird time to ask, but are you a drug dealer?' He said, 'No, I'm a painter, we talked about this'."
"I like that story because there are many stories of drug dealers turning innocent people into drug addicts," Mulaney added.
"I might be the first drug addict to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer."
Mulaney said he was in a much better place now, having recently welcomed a baby boy with actress Olivia Munn.
Following his first stint in rehab, Mulaney filed for divorce from his wife of seven years, artist and photographer Anna Marie Tendler.
Tendler said that she was "heartbroken" by the split at the time. Mulaney announced his relationship with Munn just a few months later.
