The head of the British Royal College of doctors is warning Santa may need to radically alter his lifestyle to avoid an early death.
Professor Helen Stokes-Lampard suggests many centuries of festive drinking, munching on pies and working high-stress night shifts have taken a serious toll on Saint Nick's physical and mental health.
According to Prof Stokes-Lampard, Santa is likely suffering from alcoholism, work-related stress, gout and sleep deprivation.
"He's overweight and all of us do our bit to add to his obesity by leaving mince pies and cookies for him and milk or alcohol," she told the Press Association.
A report from the British Economic and Business Research Centre in 2013 suggested Santa might be eating up to 150 billion calories in milk, cookies and sherry on Christmas night, which is roughly 60,000 times his recommended daily intake.
This figure has doubtlessly increased in the years following, thanks to population increase, fuelling worried speculation over Santa's health, who is now approximately 1,747 years old and likely can't drink like he used to.
But Prof Stokes-Lampard offers advice on how Santa may work to improve his ostensibly failing health, suggesting he forgo his sleigh and instead walk to visit the approximately 5, 556 homes per-second necessary to deliver 1.6 billion presents to the world's children.
While she acknowledges Santa provides a "brilliant example" to children in terms of encouraging generosity, Prof Stokes-Lampard says he is a poor role model for healthy lifestyle choices.
Santa could not be reached for comment.