Auckland couple's journey to beat the odds and have a baby

Heartache, disappointment and frustration paved the road that led to an Auckland couple's first child after being told they might never fall pregnant.

Cam and Melissa Lowe were "devastated" to be told by a fertility specialist their chance of naturally conceiving was just five percent. 

"I remember that day and how I felt so clearly, my heart was broken," Melissa told Newshub.

"Our biggest hope and dream and to be told we have the smallest chance of getting it... it makes me cry just thinking about it."

Cam and Mel were keen to start a family but realised after a year of trying to get pregnant it was harder than they first thought.
Cam and Mel were keen to start a family but realised after a year of trying to get pregnant it was harder than they first thought. Photo credit: Supplied

The pair met as teenagers and 10 years later, felt ready to start a family. Like so many other Kiwis however, they were faced with difficulties.

The couple stayed strong, never giving up on the idea that they would one day conceive a child - but month after month, they felt defeated.

"You think you can just sort of plan it like when you want to do it, you can do it," Cam said.

"I didn't really ever think or get told that it could take two or three years for it to happen."

But tackling hardships head-first, accepting their fate and moving forward as a team was a part of their journey - one filled with ups and downs fared together.

Three years into their relationship, in July 2007, Mel was seriously injured after a car accident on the night of Cam's 21st birthday party.

Two weeks later, while she was still recovering from her injuries, her father Percy suffered a stroke. Cam had to tell Mel that he had been brought into the same hospital and was in critical condition downstairs.

The couple sought help from specialists as they considered IVF when Mel was told their chances were just five percent.
The couple sought help from specialists as they considered IVF when Mel was told their chances were just five percent. Photo credit: Supplied.

She had a special relationship with her dad, who had been on dialysis as she was growing up. The doctors told her that the damage to his brain was extensive and her family made the harrowing decision to take him off life support that same day.

In their final moments together, Cam made a promise to Percy that he would look after his daughter forever.

Cam and Mel were married in 2013 and six months later, felt ready to start trying for a baby, foreseeing no reason that would prevent them from falling pregnant straight away.

"It's something you want so badly and you have no control over whether it's going to happen to you or not," Mel said.

"You come off the pill and let your body get into something normal and then nothing really happened for about a year."

Doctors told the pair to give it another couple of months before referring Mel to any specialists. After about a year-and-a-half, things were starting to look "scary".

Little did the couple know that as they were told such harsh news, Mel was already three weeks pregnant.
Little did the couple know that as they were told such harsh news, Mel was already three weeks pregnant. Photo credit: Supplied.

"It's frustrating because obviously you've got a really small percentage of the month to conceive, you do the deed and then all your hopes are up, then however many weeks later, you get knocked down and have to do it over again," Cam said.

"It's a vicious cycle."

Mel explained she would be so hopeful, at times she would almost imagine signs of pregnancy.

"Every time, a couple of weeks after you've ovulated, it's like, 'My boobs are starting to feel sore'. You can almost feel your brain trying to convince your body that you're feeling symptoms.

"When that day comes and you're waiting for your period and it doesn't come in the morning you say to yourself, 'This could be it, this could be it', and then your period comes and it ends the emotions of this baby that you were already connected to... you feel like you've lost it.

"Then each month you'd be like, 'I'm not going to do that this month', but then you feel something and hope and dream that this month is going to be 'the month', but it's not."

Auckland couple's journey to beat the odds and have a baby
Photo credit: Supplied

They each underwent a series of tests to identify any medical issues that would be preventing them from conceiving, and started considering IVF.

"There was a lot of uncontrollable crying for the next few days. I guess once the shock settled down we started planning what's next and what else we could do," Mel said.

"We wanted to try every option possible. Only to find out we were actually already pregnant."

The couple welcomed little Madi May, their first daughter, on July 11 2016. Her delivery was not without its own moments of uncertainty but finally, she was their own to love and adore.

Mel said it was disappointing to have been told such gut-wrenching news that turned out to be inaccurate.

"Makes you wonder how many other couples get told things like this too," she said.

Their story inspired singer Mitch James to pen the track 'One More' about their journey.

Mitch told Newshub that the made him feel all types of emotions. What started as a project to be kept personal for the family ended up turning into a hit song.

Auckland couple's journey to beat the odds and have a baby
Photo credit: Supplied

Over lunch the couple told Mitch their story and the overall journey that preceded their miracle Madi being born.

"It made me feel everything which is why I think it's such a great song, it's literally the ups and downs of their story," Mitch said.

"I remember when I was taking notes about the song; one of Cam and Mel's sayings is the ups and downs and downs and ups and downs - it really is that encompassed in a song."

The 'Move On' singer was in America drinking with a couple of beers on Santa Monica beach when he started writing.

"It just sort of came out and it felt really good, it flowed," he said.

Singer Mitch James.
Singer Mitch James. Photo credit: Supplied

"For me to tell this story which means so much to me, I can't imagine how much it means to them or people that have struggled to conceive," Mitch said.

"To give that hope and knowing that one day, it can just happen, so it's a real honour for me to have a platform that people care and people listen."

Cam and Mel want other couples determined to have children to seek support from one another and reach out for advice from others.

"Once you realise other people are going through the same thing, you realise it's actually so, so common.

"Every month is like an emotional rollercoaster so having good friends to talk to about it was the biggest thing."

One in four Kiwis will be affected by infertility - defined by failing to achieve pregnancy within 12 months of regular unprotected sex - at some point in their lives.

Many people are left isolated, scared, grief stricken and unsupported.

Mel is now pregnant with her second child and wants other women to know it can be a tough battle, but it's worth every minute to keep trying.
Mel is now pregnant with her second child and wants other women to know it can be a tough battle, but it's worth every minute to keep trying. Photo credit: Supplied

Jaunita Copeland, vice president of Fertility New Zealand, told Newshub that it can be a life-impacting event that can put incredible pressure on couples and individuals who aren't able to achieve the family they desperately long for.

Fertility issues can be hard to talk about and difficult to find support within family and social circles. 

"Seeking peer support can be extremely valuable, as can talking about their experiences with their partner or trusted confidant," she said.

Newshub.