In case you didn't know, New Zealand's royal couple Art Green and Matilda Rice were married last weekend.
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If you're anything like me, you don't give a f**k about any of the dress details or guest list - you want to know what guests ate.
In my opinion, it's the most important part of any wedding.
With Green being the co-founder of healthy food company Clean Paleo and both stars big public advocates of the paleo lifestyle, I assumed there would be a healthy side to the proceedings.
And boy, was I correct.
Luxe Waiheke, organiser of luxury weddings and events on Waiheke, posted an image of the menu on its Instagram on Wednesday, thanking the couple for letting them feed their esteemed guests.
"We loved the challenge of coming up with a paleo fearing menu for you guys!"
As soon as I read those words, my heart started pounding. Surely, even with their 'no carbohydrate' ethos, for one day only, at their own wedding, there would be... bread?
To start, guests snacked on 'marinated olives and cornichons'. I just asked what "cornikons" were and got mocked by my colleagues.
Then came the 'feasting style main', which included grilled salmon and slow cooked southland lamb shoulder - so far, so wonderful. You have my attention, Green and Rice.
Along with the meats were A LOT of vegetables: Blackened cauliflower salad, char-grilled broccoli, marinated heirloom tomatoes...
And that is it.
No bread. No potatoes.
Combining an open bar with little more than a tomato salad seems... bold.
Luckily, the late night snack - fried, organic (of course) chicken with dill pickles and chipotle ketchup, made up for things. But God - I'd be getting a burger on the drive back the next day, I'll tell ya what.