Opinion: A porn site has created the 'ideal woman' and it's the worst thing you've ever seen

OPINION: Just in case you don't feel insecure enough not meeting all the expectations required in advertising geared towards woman, now we have a new ideal to live up to  - porn's perfect dream girl.

Popular porn site xHamster surveyed 50,000 respondents in over 150 countries to find their 'dream girl' in porn. While the site says they received responses from men, women and non-binary respondents, judging by the result, I think we can assume the gender of many participants.

The ideal lady turns out to be a 25-year-old, petite, Eurasian, bisexual woman named 'Shy Yume'.

That's right, Shy. Read into that what you will.

Being both Eurasian and bisexual, Shy of course embodies two of the most common yet most frustrating of fetishizations. These two perfectly normal identifiers suddenly become something to be groped and leered at from afar.

I am also 25, but that's where the similarities between me and Shy end, unfortunately. According to a description on Cosmopolitan, she also has straight, long, dark hair; deep blue eyes; "curves" (D-cup boobs) and an "average" waist and butt.

Here's the kicker: she's also "not feminist". So should crawl into a hole now, or wait until I've left work?

xHamster even created an Instagram for Shy, complete with CGI model. Here she is walking the beach in her CGI red bikini, blue eyes sparkling.

As a porn viewer, I find this upsetting and problematic. All people of all genders and identities and sexual persuasions have sex, so we should be celebrating this in the porn industry! You can hear more of my thoughts on that in this week's episode of Newshub podcast The Snack.

Instead, I've compiled some of my favourite women on Instagram you can follow instead of Shy Yume.

Hazel Mead

 

Illustrator, feminist and activist Hazel Meade creates beautiful, sex-positive and body-positive illustrations that you will want to print and stick on your bedroom wall immediately. Her sketch of "what you don't see in mainstream porn" is particularly relevant.

Jessamyn 

 

Jessamyn calls herself a "fat femme" yogi, posting beautiful photos dispelling the myth that healthy and sexy only come in one shape.

"Believing in your strength in the face of opposition is incredibly difficult, but it's the responsibility of the oppressed," she shared while teaching a yoga class.

Pink Bits

 

The illustrator for Pink Bits creates sketches of nude woman that are a far cry from many of the scenes you'll see in mainstream porn. Nude bodies of all shapes, sizes and abilities are celebrated and it's fabulous!

Sarah Templeton and Monika Barton host a magazine-style podcast talking all things love, relationships, dating and of course, sex.

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