A UK café has made it clear they don't have time for complex coffee orders, with their "no nonsense" coffee menu on display outside.
A photo of the sign was posted to Reddit forum Casual UK, where people post funny anecdotal things seen around Britain.
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The sign outside the Dorset café swapped widely-used coffee names like flat white, latte and mocha for more straightforward descriptions like "white coffee", "milky coffee" and "chocky coffee".
Even the classic cappuccino is renamed "frothy coffee".
Tea and Hot Chocolate are chastised as being "not coffee".
The post has racked up more than 400 comments, but it's left some coffee aficionados unimpressed by the joke.
Many worried the flippant approach to the caffeinated drink would leave them with a sub-par brew.
"I don't want my coffee made by people who don't understand coffee," one person raged.
"They're probably using Nescafe Instant," speculated another.
Fans of the classic Kiwi flat white were also enraged.
"I mean a flat white isn't just "white coffee"; that's an Americano with milk," commented one person.
"A flat white is not a white coffee!!" another wrote.
But others saw the funny side, with one person wondering if it was a gag "everyone has just taken way too seriously".
"Is this place owned by Jeremy Clarkson," another joked.
At least café-goers will avoid the extortionate $7.30 an Auckland woman forked out for a large decaffeinated soy flat white last year.