It is Thursday August 8 and if you are a self-respecting person you will know that today is a hallowed day - International Cat Day.
Cat memes have been around since the dawn of the Internet. New York Times described them as an "essential building block of the Internet."
But what makes a good meme? And what is the best cat meme of all time?
I spend too much time on the Internet and have seen every meme in circulation since 2004. I consider myself the woman to tell you once and for all which cat meme is the best.
5. Nyan Cat
Uploaded to YouTube in 2011, Nyan Cat is a video of a cartoon cat with a Pop-Tart for a body. It flies through space and leaves a rainbow behind it. It's accompanied by a high-pitched, repetitive "song" made of the Japanese word "nyan" which is onomatopoeic for the sound a cat makes.
I'll level with you. It's excruciating. It's not versatile and it's not funny but the real nightmare is the soundtrack. When you listen to it the first time, it's bad, but the real nightmare of Nyan Cat is that it never leaves you.
You will sing that little ditty until the day you die, or someone murders you because you won't stop singing Nyan Cat. 0/10.
4. I can haz cheezburger.
The meme that launched a thousand ships - I can haz cheezburger was the O.G of internet humour. It's beautiful in its simplicity - a pleasantly chubby British shorthair sits smiling on a grey backdrop, accompanied by that impact font we all remember from the memes of yesterday.
"I can haz cheezburger" reads the text. It's funny because the cat is fat, and has a dumb face. It's an iconic meme, but it's not one of the best. It's in this list because you must respect the memes that built an empire of Internet humour. It's a 4/10 for humour, and a 12/10 for changing the course of history.
3. Oh lawd he comin.
Moving towards modernity when memes became more abstract, the "Oh lawd he coming" meme changed the way we refer to cats forever.
The photoshopped chart of cat obesity which rose to fame on Twitter and Reddit in 2018 ranges from "a fine boi" at the smaller end of the scale, through to "H E F T Y C H O N K ". The final stage of obese cats is simply labeled "Oh lawd he comin."
Language was never the same - chubby cats were now chonks or chomk. The phrase "oh lawd he comin" was repurposed across the internet for anything of above average size. Purely for its linguistic value this meme is a 7/10.
2. Confused cat at a dinner table aka Table Cat.
I love a versatile meme. Some memes fall down in that they are too specific, but Table Cat is multi-faceted. It shows two women from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills pointing and screaming at a little white cat sitting at a dinner table. The cat is called Smudge, and his Instagram is here.
The meme is incredible, iconic, amazing, and beautiful. It's been re-interpreted thousands of times by Internet users and I love them all. It conveys confusion, disappointment, betrayal and anger. Truly a meme for the cultured woman. 8/10.
1. Sad cat.
In today's stressful world, where no one can afford a house, the ice caps are melting and the threat of global collapse looms ever present, it's easy to feel sad.
Sad cat knows that. Sad cat is sad too. Sad cat is relatable, adorable and versatile. It's a set of watering eyes which can be photoshopped on any picture of a cat to make it look sad.
Accompanied by a caption which is either deeply depressing, or oddly heartwarming, it can fit both of the two millennial moods. 10/10, you just can't beat it.