How to decipher your relationship's 'love language'

woman and man in bed talking
Communication is key, but what if your styles don't match up? Photo credit: Getty.

We all know that one of the key parts to a functioning relationship is communication - letting your partner know what you want and need, and vice versa. But it can be easier said than done and sometimes establishing a clear dialogue can be tricky. 

It's all down to your respective love language; a concept introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.

In his book, Dr Chapman explains that to keep your relationship firing on all cylinders, it's important to use your partner's love language, and introduce them to yours, as everyone gives and receives love differently. 

Mon and Sez discuss different love languages on this week's Q&A episode of The Snack. 

There are five specific types of love languages:

Acts of Service

While getting the car serviced or helping cook dinner might not seem overly romantic, it can be a clincher for someone whose dominant love language is acts of service. As Chapman explains on the 'Five Love Languages' site, "anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an 'acts of service' person will speak volumes." 

Words of Affirmation 

For a classic peacock like me, compliments can make your day. But this is especially true if your love language is words of affirmation. "Hearing the words, 'I love you,' are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward" explains Chapman. 

Quality Time

If you're a lover of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved

Receiving Gifts

I was a little shocked this one showed the highest for me and was worried it made me materialistic. But according to Chapman, you don't have to drop hundreds of dollars if this is your partner's love language - although if my boyfriend is reading, you can definitely do that if you want.

It's the thought and effort behind the gift, not the price that matters. A successful gift shows that you know and care about your person. 

Physical Touch

If this is your primary love language, you shouldn't be too surprised, chances are you're a touchy person and you've known that for awhile. You love holding hands, giving and receiving back rubs, and just letting bae know you care with a kiss on the cheek or a pat on the shoulder.

Take the quiz yourself and find out, and listen to Newshub podcast The Snack to hear hosts Mon and Sez discuss this further. 

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