Ex-children's TV star and now Instagrammer Erin Simpson has made some questionable decisions in the past - as we all did in the age of low-slung jeans and coloured hair extensions.
But I've never found any of them to be as confusing and offensive as an Instagram Story she posted on Thursday at approximately midday.
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Appearing to be Zorbing in Rotorua for her new TV show, Simpson posted a captivating image of a standard plastic lunchbox, with individual compartments - the type schoolchildren around the world take to school every day.
My attention was immediately caught by the caption, written in authoritative black font on a white background: "When your mum packs the best lunch ever!"
I was intrigued, as a fan of the humble packed lunch myself. What delights were we to see in Simpson's lunchbox? A vegemite sammy? Some roll-ups, maybe a homemade muesli bar if we were feeling healthy?
Instead, my eyes struggled to assemble the jumbled collection of goods that were laid out in the image.
The lunch contained:
- Two (2) boiled eggs
- One (1) compartment of dressing - mayonaise (as labelled)
- Two (2) Fresh'n Fruity yoghurts (flavour unknown)
- One (1) teaspoon
That's it. I clicked through, assuming there must be another image of food which made this collection of miscellaneous items make sense.
Sadly, no - and I was left with more questions than I began with (The original question being, I guess, what does Erin Simpson have for lunch?).
Who still eats flavoured yoghurts in these sugar-phobic times, let alone two in one sitting? What is the mayo for - dipping the eggs in? Is the spoon for the eggs or the yoghurt or BOTH?
Also I don't want to point fingers, but if we're looking closely, that mayo has not handled the heat well.
Honestly, Erin, you were once an inspiration to children around the country, but I feel like this should have come with some sort of trigger warning.
Obviously, most of the blame should fall on her mother, the so-tagged Suzie Simpson.
Get it together, Suzie.
For some tips on creating an actually edible lunchbox, you can read this Aussie dad's tips on creating the perfect lunch.