Kiwis divided over age-old question of who should pay on a date

Couple have romantic evening in restaurant
Photo credit: Getty.

The age-old question of who pays on a date has once again divided New Zealanders. 

A Reddit user going by the name HauntingBack sparked the debate after asking what the norm is in New Zealand, the male paying or splitting the bill. 

"As a male, I don't necessarily think the male is obliged to pay in this day and age, but I usually do just because it's not a huge deal."

He said he'll often pay for his friends and is not interested in having a conversation about it when getting to know someone.

"I never choose a restaurant for a date, so if I go to one it's at the invite of a woman, I still expect I'll be paying.

"If a date offers to pay I accept and thank them and don't insist I pay instead, but generally I'll take care of the bill."

He goes on to say that if you invite someone to an expensive restaurant they might not normally go to, you should pay, adding that a movie is a situation where each should pay for their own.

"I feel more comfortable just grabbing my own ticket and snacks," he posted. 

He said if they don't offer to pay, it may be a red flag.

The Reddit community was divided.

"The strategy could just as easily work well the other way around. I was listening to the radio the other day when they talked about it and some people said they let the other person pay and then ghosted, so they get a free meal."

One person was surprised this question was still being asked in this modern age. 

"It blows my mind though that this is still a question in 2020. To me, people thinking men had to pay for women felt a bit outdated."

Another person commented, saying as a woman, she would at least offer to pay half on a first date.

"If he insisted on paying, I wouldn't push it, but I wouldn't feel comfortable if he paid on subsequent dates."

But one person said "If you ask someone on a date then you are requesting their time in order to get to know them better. Therefore the person who asks should be more than happy to pay."

One person took a more traditional approach.

"I'm kind of old school, so I'd say the guy pays, but if the gal wants to split things, then that is a good sign."

The answer appears to be personal preference as some take a traditional approach, while others expect their date to split the bill. 

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