Romance reset: Five ways to get more intimate with your partner in the bedroom

couple intimate in bed
It's never too late to reclaim that spark - and maybe try some new things. Photo credit: Getty.

Warning: This article contains adult content that may be inappropriate for younger readers. 

It's Valentine's Day, a time to celebrate all things love, romance and connection. For those in the early days of dating, this probably means gifts, a sexy romantic dinner, maybe some lingerie, and fireworks galore. 

But if you're a bit later down the line in your relationship and things aren't exactly sizzling in the bedroom anymore - don't worry. It's never too late to spark things back up. 

If your bedroom antics have been more 50 Shades of Beige than Grey, the sex experts at Durex have put together some top tips for helping reclaim that spark in the bedroom, as part of their 'Carry a Condom' campaign, tackling New Zealand's low condom usage. 


It's not always possible for two people in a relationship to have synchronised sex drives. Sometimes mismatched libidos can result in one of you feeling sexually frustrated and the other feeling obliged to please when they're just not feeling it.

Being comfortable enough to masturbate in front of each other is a great solution, as you can release sexual frustration, whilst knowing your partner is fine with it. In fact, experimenting with masturbation can encourage your significant other to get involved, too. It's a win-win situation!

Pillow talk

Talking about your emotions in bed might seem like a bit of a passion killer but believe it or not, pillow talk can actually help to spice up your sex life. Communication is key to good sex and a post-sex chat and cuddles under the sheets is a great way to open up to each other, strengthening your connection. Talking in bed helps to create a relaxed vibe and it's a great opportunity to discuss your likes and dislikes, in and out of the bedroom released intimacy and understanding always leads to better sex as you feel more comfortable with each other.

Easy sex positions

Whilst experimenting with obscure sex positions is a laugh, sometimes the simplest ones can achieve the best results. Because who wants to stand up against a wall when you can be in the comfort of your own bed?

Easy sex positions like missionary generally involve more kissing and intimacy, and you're also already in bed ready for a cuddle after. Some of our favourite lazy sex positions involve face to face, sitting and straddling. 

Lube up

There's a huge misconception that lubricant is used purely to help vaginal dryness and discomfort during sex. Whilst it does help aid in this, lube is also great for enhancing pleasure and is a fantastic addition to the bedroom for all couples.

The huge range of lubes available can provide different sensations, temperatures and flavours. From oral and foreplay to sexual intercourse, introducing a lubricant into the mix can seriously up the pleasure factor.

Get kinky 

There's nothing wrong with a bit of vanilla sex, but it doesn't mean that you can't experiment a bit as well, right? Getting kinky isn't just about breaking out of the comfort zone and livening things up – sharing your weird and wonderful desires with each other increases intimacy. From cock rings to vibrators – there are lots of ways to break the mould. It isn't just about props either, simply whispering in your partner's ear what you want to do to them is bound to get you both going.