Expert tips on how to speak so teens will listen

  • 21/04/2021

A lot of teens refuse to listen to what their parents say and these days some teens block out their parents with apps like TikTok or Instagram.

Youth life coach Ellie Bambury gave The AM Show her top tips on how parents can speak to their teens so they'll actually listen to them and not choose to rebel against everything they say.

  • Redefine what listening actually means - decipher what it is you actually want them to hear before you speak. Do you want them to hear/receive you're anxious/stressed/trying to control or that you're genuinely wanting to connect with them.
  • Realise when your teen needs to get you - your teen might be trying to test you as they start to witness your shift in approach. They will listen when you treat them more like a capable human being. If you fall into the habit of nagging or shouting then lower that energy, otherwise it shows your lack of self-awareness and control over situations.
  • Don't be afraid to change things up - if you are used to your teens not listening, take a close look at what is going on for you when that happens.
  • Be strategic with your timing - boundaries and expectations are important to running a home but teen brains work definitely to adults. They're much more emotionally charged and can get caught up on smaller things which can end up dictating how they respond.
  • Don't take it personally if they're not listening - it's easy to assume when someone doesn't respond in the way we think they should, it's an attack against us. Always try to look at the bigger picture.