Woman fumes over mum's 'stingy' partner after he makes them 'order from kids menu'

Whether they go by the term 'thrifty', 'frugal', 'cheap' or 'stingy', a refusal to ever spend any money - even on necessities or loved ones - can be one of the less attractive qualities to find in a partner. 

We all know someone who falls somewhere on the scale: Making you split the exact cost of an Uber or meal, or hitting you up for the small cost of a coffee or petrol spent on a ride. 

But one US man has taken the cake, with his girlfriend's daughter speaking out and labelling him "extremely cheap".

"At fast food places, he will ask my mum to forgo cheese on her burger in order to knock a few pennies off. Out at dinner places he has asked her to forgo a drink off the menu and just fill up on water, and has suggested when they're paying we downgrade our meat choices for the option that is usually a pound cheaper," Reddit user Alex claimed. 

"Once he even asked me and my boyfriend to swap out our regular lasagnes for the kid's lasagne to save a few quid... he's given his sister kid's jewellery [for Christmas] before to save money."

Turning to Reddit for help, user Alex asked if she was being "an asshole" after getting into an altercation with him at a family dinner. 

"I saw him start to do it again. And so I brought it up and called him out over it," she went on. 

"I asked him if he is really so cheap that he would ask someone to change what meat they want or what they drink to shave off a couple of dollars." 

Alex said her mum's partner was "furious" at the accusations, but her mum also jumped in "and told him she wanted to know the answer". 

"[She said] she was tired of having her choice of food dictated and that she works hard so she can do things like eating out on occasion or spend a little something on a gift for someone she loves or cares about. And she hates feeling like a criminal about it. 

"He said I was a rude little brat and I told him I was standing up for my mom who deserves to be treated better."

Alex added some of the family members also thought she was being rude, and asked if she was out of line. 

The post racked up over 500 comments from fellow Reddit users, most of whom were quick to assure Alex not only was she in the right, her mother was possibly suffering some financial abuse. 

"He deserves to be called out, not have his behaviour normalised. It is not normal. Let him feel shitty whenever he does it to understand how he makes those he does this to feel," one person said.

"He's pressuring your mother to live a life stripped of small joys over pennies. What wonderful thing is he going to use the money for in the future that will make all the daily petty misery he causes worth it? Odds are, nothing."

"If he's dictating what he wants her to eat in front of everyone you deserve to ask why he's doing it. In front of everyone. She wanted to know as well," another added. 

"He is indeed being cheap. There's a difference between saving and skimping on everything. He also has no business in how others spend their money. Your mother was completely right there," wrote another. 

In an article published last year in Psychology Today, Dr Aaron Ben-Zeév wrote that "stinginess causes ongoing damage to a relationship". 

"Generally beginning with money, stinginess tends to develop into a lack of kindness, respect, and mutuality of care," he wrote. 

"Stingy people experience a deep and enduring sense of deprivation, which inclines them to feel insecure, suspicious, and desperate for control."