Note left on car from parent of child with autism divides the internet

Composite - stock image of shocked woman in her car, the note shared by resident to Reddit
The note has sparked a strong response on social media, dividing Reddit. Photo credit: Getty Images / Reddit

A note left on a car's windscreen by the parent of a neurodivergent child has sparked intense debate on social media.

The owner of the car, who lives in Australia, discovered the handwritten note on her vehicle one morning, with the message urging her to reconsider parking in that particular spot. 

Sharing the note to Reddit, the woman's husband explained it had been written by a parent living in the same apartment complex, with the message warning that their child has a habit of throwing items from the balcony and could potentially damage the woman's vehicle. 

"Please note our son is impulsive and destructive," the note read. "Since moving in, he has drawn on my car with texta, thrown a few rocks across the front of [the] complex and if a car was parked where this one is it would of smashed a window [sic]. He has also thrown numerous items from our balcony.

"I know that I have been very vocal about cars parking out the front here and this is a huge factor. I, as a parent of an ADHD/ASD [autism spectrum disorder] child, can only pre-empt so much.

"Please only park here if [you're] willing to accept damage to your car."

The note, which has amassed more than 9000 comments and 70,000 votes, has prompted a divisive response on Reddit, with many readers expressing their belief that the parent was failing to take responsibility for their child. Others have branded the parent's message as "infuriating" and anxiety-provoking. 

The note in question, uploaded to Reddit
The note warned the woman to consider parking her car elsewhere due to their son's tendency to throw things off the balcony. Photo credit: Reddit via 7News

"As someone who has a six-year-old on the spectrum, when it comes to this stuff you don't play," one said.

"Yes, there is a limit on pre-empting in the moment. The next best thing is taking factors out of the equation.

"You simply remove the rocks and then they can't be throwing f***ing rocks off the balcony. Better yet, get locks installed at the top so the kid can't just go the f*** outside whenever they want. S***'s got my anxiety at full throttle just reading that note."

"The parent is still responsible for damage caused by the kid," a second weighed in. "Doesn't matter if they feel like they've done everything they can, they're still on the hook for damages, even if a kid destroys something by accident. They're not exempt because he's ADHD and [on the spectrum]."

A third added: "What if that rock hit and injured a child or an animal? The parents need to block access to the balcony. There has got to be child locks that can brace a sliding glass door from opening. If that child is pelting things from a second floor it could hit people, kids, pets… Rocks that are big enough to damage a car can cause concussions/massive damage to a living being.

"At the end of the day the parents may need to move to an [apartment] where they are not on the top floor or not near parked cars if possible. That's on the parents to pick a location that suits the needs of their family."

"I have ADHD myself, and have two kids on the spectrum. My youngest should have his picture in the dictionary next to hyperactivity. Can confirm - we've never chucked things off of our balcony," a fourth shared.

"You can't just let your kids run amok. If their kid is having destructive inclinations then they need to find a way to better support their child."

"Parent here to an unstoppable force of a kid. It's preventable. Most things are. Lazy parents are the problem," another agreed.

However, others were more sympathetic, noting it was unfair to pass judgement and make assumptions without knowing the pressures they could be under, particularly as a parent to a child with behavioural issues. 

"I have a kid with ODD and knew better than to read the comments. The parent should not have left that note, but it's also impossible to understand the type of irrational and self-destructive behaviour they are dealing with," one responded.

"Any solution that starts off with, 'If the parents just…' is coming from people who haven't lived it.

Another wrote: "You're right. I've witnessed a true ODD child in practice, and it's honestly a horrible thing to go through, both for kid and parent.

"The mum in particular looked completely frazzled, I think she had to quit her job to care for her child full-time. Poor kid didn't understand why he did the things he did, and the home was full of shouting and damaged property."

A third shared: "My brother has ASD and had ODD as a kid - he loved chucking things down stairs. At preschool he would hit the teacher, he would hit my mum, he broke a lot of stuff impulsively. It had nothing to do with how my mum was raising him - BUT, she took responsibility and would never have said, 'it's on you if your car gets destroyed'.

"I just sympathise because it absolutely is not easy raising a kid like that. My brother is lovely now."

Addressing the influx of responses, the resident who shared the note said he has since spoken to the parent in question and agreed they were struggling with a difficult situation.

"I went and spoke with them today, we had a decent chat for about 10 minutes," he said. "I could see they weren't just projecting their problems onto us, and are genuinely trying to help their child.

"Context can be hard to read through paper. But glad we had a face-to-face chat."

He later added: "We are all parents trying to do our best, and clear and effective communication is the best tool we have."