Bride and groom's 'tacky' request for guests to pay for food sparks debate

Bride and groom figurines collapsed at ruined wedding cake - stock photo - inset, the invite
"No, no, no, no, no, and no." Photo credit: Getty Images / Facebook

A bride and groom have come under fire after a disgruntled wedding guest called out their request for attendees to pay for their own meals. 

The anonymous guest shared the couple's invitation to the Facebook group 'That's it, I'm wedding shaming' with the caption: "No, no, no, no, no, and no." 

The invitation, which featured a monochromatic blue design, outlined the details of the ceremony including the arrival time, address and 'smart casual' dress code. However, the couple also included a note that asked guests to forgo traditional wedding gifts in favour of contributions towards the cost of their reception buffet.

"In lieu of traditional gifts, we kindly request that you contribute towards the cost of our reception buffet. This will allow us to share a wonderful meal together and create lasting memories with our loved ones," the couple wrote. 

"The cost per adult is $40 and for children under 12 it is $20. 

"To facilitate the planning process, we kindly ask that you include your contribution to the meals when you RSVP. This will help us provide accurate numbers to our venue and ensure a seamless experience for everyone." 

Guests were then told the payment could be transferred directly to the couple's bank account at their "earliest convenience". 

"Kindly include your name and 'wedding buffet contribution' in the payment reference," the invitation continued. 

"Your presence at our wedding is the most meaningful gift we could ask for, and we are truly grateful for your love and support as we embark on this new chapter of our lives together." 

The invitation
The invitation has sparked a divided response on social media. Photo credit: That’s it, I’m wedding shaming / Facebook

It's unclear where the couple are based and which currency the monetary values are in. 

But the request proved divisive among the group, with some branding it "tacky" and "weird". Others defended the couple, with one noting that guests likely would have spent more than $40 on a gift. 

"To me this is very clear they don't want gifts too so it's a bargain," they added, while a second agreed: "Is it bad that I actually don't have an issue with this? It's a reasonable amount, less than what most people would spend on a gift, and they were clear that they did not want gifts as well as the contribution." 

Bride and groom figurines collapsed at ruined wedding cake - stock photo
"If you can't afford a wedding, don't have a wedding." Photo credit: Getty Images

"I have absolutely zero problem with this, and I think it's kind of weird that people expect a great meal and alcohol for free but will also complain if the food and alcohol isn't good enough or if it's not an open bar," a third weighed in.  

"If you can't afford a wedding, don't have a wedding," another argued, with one commenting: "I cannot believe how many people are defending this, it's so tacky. It's not about the amount, it's about charging people to come to your wedding and to help pay for it - that's weird." 

Another said if a couple is short on cash, they should either host a smaller, more intimate wedding, or ask for "no boxed gifts" - a common way of asking for cheques or financial contributions towards a shared goal, such as the honeymoon or travel.