Six reasons why Ed should get in bed with NZ

Six reasons why Ed should get in bed with NZ

Pop star Ed Sheeran has once again confirmed his good taste by revealing he’s thinking about moving to New Zealand.

Get him over here! He will be universally adored, consistently talked about - and he’ll provide us with plenty of watchable Air New Zealand safety videos.

Plus we need a new mega celebrity to write about given that Richie McCaw is happily, but very boringly, married. So with that in mind, here are the top six reasons why Ed Sheeran should move to NZ.

  1. If we ever made a spin off movie, “Lord of The Rings: What happened when Gimli the Dwarf had a night of passion with the yellow Teletubbie” then Ed could play the love child.

  2. Because how fun would it be to re-write “Castle on a Hill” as “The One Tree on the Hill that isn’t actually a tree but is actually a concrete pillar that really looks like a pencil stuck in a blob of Blu-Tack.”  

  3. Everyone knows that the cafe is the new artists’ studio. We are the country of the seven cafes to every one person ratio. We can sling a few hundred his way.

  4. New Zealand has good stuff but it only ever has one of it. And with Lorde rapidly getting too famous for us, we’ll soon have an open vacancy for “NZ’s one good singer/songwriter.” And it’s either Ed … or Max Key.

  5. Ed is famous for busking and Queen St is famous for having more buskers than bus stops. He could do a double act with the old, banjo slamming, Christian couple. “Thinking Out Loud about Impending Eternal Damnation While Getting Your Morning Coffee” anybody?

  6. He is the nice guy of music. And we love the nice guy! We kept John Key in power for years because he reminded us of our Dad; nice, normal, rubbish jokes - and dances like a drunk giraffe.