A poor Millennial's guide to Christmas

Guac-ing around the Christmas tree...
Guac-ing around the Christmas tree... Photo credit: Getty / File

Christmas is a challenging time of year for the best of us - especially Millennials.

Combine low wages, high rents, low self-control and high house prices, the mere thought of Christmas is enough to send a shiver down the toughest Millennial spine.

But you can toss aside your cup of concrete, as you can still enjoy the Christmas season without missing out on your smashed avo on toast.

These look a lot better than the ones I made.
These look a lot better than the ones I made. Photo credit: Getty / File



Family members, look away now, lest you want your Christmas surprise spoiled.

1. Regift all of last year's unwanted presents

For obvious reasons, this is only an option if you didn't already sell them all on Trade Me. But it's helpful if you stack up all the gifts you gather throughout the year.

That candle you got from the work Secret Santa? That's now your mother's. Enjoy.

2. Raid the office stationery cabinet

Who likes pens and notebooks? Hopefully your entire friend group and family, because that's what they're getting this year.

Jane was particularly lovely this year so she gets a special treat - a VIVID. A true gift from the heart.

3. That dumb deconstructed cookie recipe you saw on Pinterest

Pinterest might be onto something here. Make sure your flat saves all those jars from when you buy the spag bol sauce on the cheap, buy a bulk bag of cheap flour and the rest of the baking essentials - it's incredible how low the price gets once you drop your standards to the ground.

Measure it all out, tie it off with that loose bit of string from your sheets, liberate a Post-it note from work and you're done.

More punch please!
More punch please! Photo credit: Getty / File



Go to every single party you're invited to during the holiday season. Even Jim's one.

There are three simple reasons why.

1. Free drinks

2. Free food

3. Free accommodation

If you use rags to make your own tent, this whole experience could be free.
If you use rags to make your own tent, this whole experience could be free. Photo credit: Getty / File



1. Steal a tent*

Camping is free on most public land, including a lot of Department of Conservation-owned land. Even DoC land that you have to pay for is fairly cheap, making this an affordable holiday option.

If you don't have a legitimate tent, ask your rich friends and friendly neighbourhood Baby Boomers to wrap their presents in fabric. Stitch it together, get some sticks, and hey presto - you have a tent!

However it's still technically freedom camping, so make sure you check local bylaws before setting up.

*DISCLAIMER: 'Steal' is used lightly, we do not condone theft, please use your money or the money of your friends or friendly neighbourhood Baby Boomers with their permission in exchange for said tent.


2. Stay with out-of-town family

Remember how your clingy Aunt Linda is always saying you should visit more often? Or your grandparents? Take them up on the offer.

Hitchhike your way to their out-of-town location and enjoy your luxury vacation. Sometimes you can even score free food out of it as well as the accommodation.

3. House sit for those friends who do have money

Oftentimes you can even get a bonus pet out of this. Highly recommended.

Plus your electric and water bills will go down, and if you time it right, you could even cancel your Wi-Fi for the month. Think of all the moolah you're saving.

Just make sure they stock the fridge and cupboard for you first. It's only polite, after all.