Welcome to financial domination: a niche and costly sexual fetish

In FinDom, the client willingly takes up a submissive role, relinquishing control to the dominant sex worker.
In FinDom, the client willingly takes up a submissive role, relinquishing control to the dominant sex worker. Photo credit: Getty

Warning: the article below is of a sexual nature.

Fancy being paid to control a man's finances, make him give you gifts and money, and verbally abuse him - all while he pays you for your services?

It sounds too good to be true, but it's the world of financial domination (FinDom), a very expensive fetish whereby a sex worker takes up control of a client's emotional, physical and financial state at his request.

In this very niche subset of BDSM, the client willingly takes up a submissive role, relinquishing control to the dominant sex worker who in turn gets to dictate the rules.

Dunedin escort Miss Cilla White, a professional dominatrix, told Newshub she doesn't really know how to explain why men actually find financial domination appealing - especially as most relationships are across great distances and sex between partners is uncommon.

"I think it's one of those things that if you don't inherently understand it, there's no point trying to," she said.

"Domination is all about control, or lack thereof. One of the dominant fantasies in FinDom is complete and utter financial submission, whereby the submissive is only given the bare minimum required to maintain a functional but minimum existence.

"For example, some of my FinDom clients are allowed gym money, some aren't."

If that sounds harsh or exploitative, Miss White says it's "definitely not" - and was quick to state that the clients have given their explicit consent, and actively want to be controlled in this way.

"There is no victim in FinDom - in fact I'm almost certain my clients get more enjoyment out of it than I do," she said.

"My clients give complete consent and in the instance they wish to stop, procedures are in place."

Another woman who works in the industry told Vice in 2015 that FinDom is actually a relief for a lot of men who occupy executive positions in top companies and are worn down by the burden that places on them.

"Contrary to the picture you probably have in your head of a snivelling weakling with mommy issues, many [submissives] are actually accomplished leaders," she said.

"Successful men are attracted to giving away their earnings to women like me because they yearn for the freedom and release of not being in control. They want the peace of not having responsibilities nagging at their ass all day."

Other customers "crave being abused" or desire ridicule and humiliation, another FinDom practitioner called Cleo Tantra told the outlet.

Miss White says while it's usually men who request her services as a FinDom specialist, there are some women who have asked her for it too - and she says they're usually better clients.

"Though FinDom is dominated by male clients and female dominants, FinDom does not discriminate against gender. I personally prefer female clients as they are usually much clearer about their needs and wants," she explained.

Most of Miss White's FinDom work is actually flowing in from overseas - making the prospect of sex for these men even more remote - though she does have "a handful" of local clients.

She gets approached via email or text, most often, but is very particular about who she agrees to enter a FinDom relationship with. Of those who contact her in the hopes of acquiring her services, Miss White gets quite a range of requests.

"Some make one payment and run away, some are unconditionally devoted, and some I won't even reply to. Not all inquiries get responded to as I'm picky about who I choose to take on, for obvious reasons," she said.

Nevertheless, if you wish to try your luck with Miss Cilla White, she'll certainly take requests.

Newshub.