Polyamory: How does dating multiple partners work?

  • 18/04/2018

Many will have heard the phrase "threes a crowd", but for some New Zealanders in romantic relationships that's simply not the case.

At least 1000 people in New Zealand are in polyamorous relationships where the relationship could have three or more people involved.

There needs to be communication though; secretly sleeping with someone on the sly isn't polyamory - that's just straight up cheating.

Jeremy Corbett from Three's The Project took off his 'prude shoes' to talk to some polyamorous people about how it works.

"Most of polyamory is scheduling," said Adrian Renor, who is part of a triad relationship.

"It's a lot of self-reflection and work," added Gabbi Macclure who is also part of the relationship.

The pair are in a relationship with each other and there is a third person in the relationship too, Bernie.

Arelle Hugg currently has three partners in different cities and she says communication is a large part of keeping the relationships going.

"If they're starting to see another girl if they go on a date with another girl or even if they meet someone and they're attracted to them they let me know," she said.

Jealousy can be part of it like in a monogamous pairing, but Ms Hugg says it hasn't reared its head in her relationships.

"I've done a lot of research and I do hear that jealousy comes up and I've had jealousy in the past, in my past relationships, but I honestly haven't felt jealousy in a long time"

Watch the video for the full The Project interview.