The search for a late-night K Road kebab has led to a bizarre incident involving police, meth, and a man claiming to be the son of the German Ambassador to New Zealand.
Video of the incident has been posted to social media, sparking equal amounts of amusement and bemusement.
"This guy who claims to be the son of the German Ambassador in NZ was going off spitting some real crazy talk at us about Steve Jobs last week at a kebab shop on K Rd, does anyone recognize him? It was like being in a Black Mirror episode," Auckland man Kermath wrote on Reddit.
Do you know who this man is? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org
"He offered to buy the dude in the striped shirt a kebab and then started calling our friend fat and ginge, and then me a skinny meth-head. Then he accused us both for on meth (sic)... I'm not sure why meth was a big thing to him but it was."
Kermath says the event began after running into the man in a kebab shop early in the morning. The man apparently had sexual motives in mind.
"He was buying my friend in the striped shirt a kebab and he was like, 'You should lose your friends and come have kebab with me'," he told Newshub.
"'You should just lose them and come back with me' - just trying to get into his pants."
He then began insulting Kermath and his friends, leading to the weird sequence of events.
'You can't call my friend fat and ginger'
"My friend was like, 'You can't keep calling him fat and ginger', and he got up and started shouting," Kermath says.
The video shows the man unleashing a verbal tirade upon Kermath and his unsuspecting friends.
"You are a skinny meth-addicted Frasier-wearing hat-addicted f**king wannabe f****t who thinks that he actually has something to go to the police with," he shouted.
"This f**king iPhone. Oohohoho! iPhone!"
"Let's go Steve Jobs! With your f**king meth addiction! Oh! By the way. He's dead! That motherf**ker? He's dead!
"And by the way? Steve Jobs can f**k me up the asshole with his iCloud-having penis. And you can with your Frasier Crane hat!"
The police were called, and the man escaped after a talking-to.
"At the time it was full on and a bit traumatic," Kermath says. "I didn't feel threatened until he started getting crazy and started talking about sticking knives in people.
"At the end of the night, we had to call the cops... He didn't believe the police were coming. He was so sure the police were going to find meth on us."
And it's not the first time the man has been spotted out on the prowl.
"Omg yes I know him. Me mates and I call him Professor Hogwarts. He's made similar claims but he's f**king loaded. Got me and my mates a couple of bottles of Veuve Clicquot at Eagle," someone replied on Reddit.
Who is the mystery man?
"I still don't know who he is. He's been all over the internet. No one can identify him," Kermath told Newshub. "It's the most outrageous thing I've ever seen."
The German Embassy in Wellington has responded to the incident, denying the man's claims to be the child of their boss.
"This is certainly not the son of the German Ambassador to New Zealand," a spokesperson told Newshub.