Former All Black Norm Hewitt has opened up on the moment his son called him out for his high-school bullying, prompting him to apologise to his victim 20 years later.
Speaking to The AM Show on Monday morning, he said bullying was a vicious cycle usually carried out by people who are bullied themselves.
"I became a bully because I was bullied," he said, "there was violation and violence in my home."
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He recalled being beaten by his father, and said when he later became the bully it was like "when I was nine years old and my father was standing over me".
Mr Hewitt talked about the moment he apologised to actor Manu Bennett, who he bullied as a boy at school.
"My son and I were watching The Arrow, and I said 'I know that man,'" he explained. "'I gave him a hiding at school', that was the first thing that came out of my mouth."
"My son was nine years old and he goes 'how did that make you feel Dad?' and I went 'far out, that's a big question, it makes me feel pretty stink'."
Two weeks later he saw Mr Bennett at the airport and it was a sign that he needed to "stand up and just go over".
He said he was terrified of what Mr Bennett may say to him, but the feeling of apologising was "liberating".
Mr Hewitt said if he was to look back on his past he would "not have recognised" himself.
"When you're in a world of absolute despair and pain you're so self-centred that nothing else matters."
He is currently working with companies in Wellington such as PCL Construction, mentoring employees on safe workplace interactions, which he said is extremely rewarding.
"We have to own the behaviour to change the destiny."
Stand Strong NZ is a series exploring the issues around bullying and what's being done to reduce the harm.
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