Duncan Garner has said men should not be ridiculed for fear they won't be able to cope with the resulting embarrassment and will explode, but domestic violence charities don't agree.
Garner made the statement on The AM Show on Wednesday, saying some men can't handle a bit of humiliation.
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"Do not ridicule men. Men struggle when they're ridiculed and they do not have many options in their smorgasbord of options. There's not many there, sometimes for some men.
"You ridicule them, you set off the powderkeg, so be very careful with men. Some of them don't do humiliation very well and they also feel that they have the world on their shoulders."
But The AM Show newsreader Amanda Gillies disagreed with Garner's comments, saying there was no excuse to lash out.
"That's no excuse though for lashing out to anyone ever. The thing that does give me hope is I have interviewed couples before who have been in violent relationships... some of the things that have happened have been horrific, but they have been able to turn it around and get into a loving [relationship]...
"I keep thinking though of what Jane [Drumm] said to us... if you can't love your partner at least respect them. Just keep your hands off them."
Domestic violence campaigner Rob McCann from White Ribbon agreed with Gillies, telling Newshub there's no excuse for violence.
"Violence is not so much about people losing their tempers, it's about power and control.
"Those who use violence, use it as a tool to control the other person, so it's less about being ridiculed, as going back to the tactic that they think works for them - violence."
McCann said people can conflate anger with violence, but in an on-going relationship where violence may occur, it could more be about the man trying to get what he wants.
Garner's statement came after he interviewed Shine executive director Julia Drumm, who also said men should be able to cope under stress.
"I don't think it is about men not coping. Everyone's beset with problems and men can cope at work, men can cope in lots of different situations."
Drumm said she wants to see changes to the way boys are raised in New Zealand to allow them to be able to process emotions in a healthy way.
"I think we need to seriously look at how we're raising our boys... we're raising them to be man alone, we're raising them to not express good emotions, not to understand the range of emotions that's acceptable for a boy to have.
"We're raising them in far too many homes where they see violence."
Where to find help and support:
Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
Samaritans - 0800 726 666
Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Newshub.
