Duncan Garner: My three days in COVID-19 self-isolation

OPINION: Yes, I'm back on The AM Show and I can assure you my three days in self-isolation as I got tested for COVID-19 did not go to waste.

I have come up with an idea that benefits everyone - and you make $100 out of it. More on that later. 

As you may know, I was linked to the Mt Roskill Evangelical Church COVID-19 cluster.

People who know me will say, impossible, Duncan and a Church? Does the church have no standards?

But it's the league team my boy plays for that's linked to the church.

In any case, I was stuck at home. 

The first 24 hours were brilliant. People dropped things off to my gate and I didn't have to see them or talk to them.

I didn't even have to demand anything, it just came. My lawyer dropped the divorce papers in the mailbox. Lawyers hate that, they can't talk to you and charge more.

My mum dropped off bread, fruit cake, juice, cashew nuts and a pizza that expired in three days, so use it quickly, Mum said from behind the mask and fence with her googles all steamed up. Mum and masks don't work. 

I had calls, texts, was I dying, how serious was this? 

Well, I had seriously never felt better, but don't tell anyone this, keep it a mystery. 

I got the test - a bit uncomfortable - but quick.

They were friendly and the drive-through testing was easy. The wait was just 10 minutes and five cars deep, unlike Maccas Mt Roskill, which had 13 cars in the line as I drove past it to head home.

So for three days I scaled every wall in the house.

The three days went as slow as any three ever have.

Things I should have picked up off the floor still remain there. 

Mark didn't contact me once, he is ruthless and moves on quickly. Amanda showed concern, thank you, and so did the bosses, although, I think they were just concerned about the roster.

The media got in touch and they wrote an article about me, instead of Mark. I guess you take what you can get, right? 

Now, that idea to make a hundred bucks. Oh, I've run out of time. That'll have to wait. All this time on my hands and I've lost my touch.

Duncan Garner hosts The AM Show.