Warning: This article discusses suicide.
We need to do more to make those struggling more comfortable to speak up when they're considering suicide, Mike King says.
The mental health advocate took to Facebook last week to share his thoughts following the tragic death of Olympic track cyclist Olivia Podmore.
He said from his time speaking at schools around New Zealand, he's learned that about two in every five schoolkids will suffer a major crisis often associated with some sort of suicidal thinking - whether that is a one-off or recurring thought.
King says when people hear that statistic, they panic - but he says it's normal, despite some health professionals treating people who have suicidal thoughts as having a mental illness.
"Having a suicidal thought doesn't make you mentally ill, it makes you human," he said. "If you haven't left your house at least once in your life thinking 'what's the point?' then you need to get out of the marshmallow you're living in."
He believes the statistic that Kiwis should really be worrying about is that about 80 percent of young people who have recurring thoughts of suicide never ask for help.
"When you drill down and ask why, the reason they never ask for help is because they are worried about what other people will think, say and do with that information. In other words, they're worried about us," he said.
"But what's our message to people like Olivia [Podmore]? 'Hey if you're in trouble, reach out and ask for help'. I mean, seriously? I've just told you I'm scared of sharks, and your solution is to swim with some sharks and a dolphin might come along."
King says Kiwis need to start thinking about what we're doing to encourage others to speak up when they're struggling.
"Most of us have never had that conversation ever. My question is why?" he said.
"I get a lot of kids talking to me about their struggles, and I'm no better than you... The only difference between me and you is I take off my mask, I talk about my battles with my inner critic, I make myself vulnerable so young people know I'm someone they can safely talk to."
King says his sincere hope for other Kiwis is that they "stop pretending you have your shit together".
"If you take off your mask and be more vulnerable in front of your kids, maybe, just maybe, they'll be able to take off their mask and reach out and ask for help before something tragic happens."
Where to find help and support:
- Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
- Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
- Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
- What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
- Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
- Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
- Samaritans - 0800 726 666
- Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
- Shakti Community Council - 0800 742 584
