The savage burns banned from ever being slung again in Parliament

'Unbecoming’ language, insults, and accusations of dishonesty are banned during Parliamentary debates.
'Unbecoming’ language, insults, and accusations of dishonesty are banned during Parliamentary debates. Photo credit: New Zealand Parliament

Parliament is where New Zealand's MPs sit to debate Bills and consider parliamentary business, but it can also get heated and people can get roasted.

Insults can fly, particularly during question time, and feelings can get hurt. 

Just recently, Labour MP Kelvin Davis was on blast after telling Māori ACT MP Karen Chhour to leave "her Pākehā world".

But sometimes politics gets too dirty - and particular insults get banned.

The treasure trove of banned insults, officially called "unparliamentary language" has been doing the rounds on social media.  

Until 1980, Parliament kept a list of the best, worst and most creative zingers politicians used in the House.

In 1949, Labour MP Frank Langstone made the list after he told National's Ronald Algie "his brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides".

Nearly 30 years later, in 1974, Labour's Mike Moore, who would go on to be Prime Minister, took a crack at then-PM Rob Muldoon - telling him he was the only person he knew that "could go down the Mt Eden sewer and come up cleaner than he went in".

"Not fit to lick the shoes of the Prime Minister" and "I would cut the honourable gentleman's throat if I had the chance" also made the list of banned slurs.

Notable mentions were for the animal puns used including "great ape", "ridiculous mouse", "blow-fly minded" and "kind of animal that gnaws holes". 

References to snails were also prominent on the list including "energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral" and "like a snail leaves a slime behind him" - they're all banned too.

Here's the full list of unparliamentary language:

1933

  • Blow-fly minded
  • Financial Frankenstein
  • Shrewd old bird

1936

  • Fungus farmer
  • Pipsqueak
  • Stonewalling

1943

  • Members hated the sight of khaki
  • Retardate worm

1946

  • Clown of the House
  • Idle vapourings of a mind diseased
  • I would cut the honourable gentleman's throat if I had the chance
  • Quasi-parsonical
  • Skite

1949

  • His brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides
  • Hoey
  • Humbugs
  • Hypnotised rabbits

1954

  • Bluebird

1957

  • Kind of animal that gnaws holes
  • Trained seals

1959

  • Kookaburra
  • Member not fit to lick the shoes of the Prime Minister

1963

  • Energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral
  • Member a vicious woman
  • Sits on his behind

1966

  • Labour Party is dominated by an outside body
  • Shut up yourself, you great ape
  • Snotty nosed little boy
  • You are a cheap little twerp
  • Ridiculous mouse

1969

  • Commo (allowed)
  • Duck shoving
  • Like a snail leaves a slime behind him

1974

  • Scuttles for his political funk hole (allowed)
  • Soft-soaping (allowed)
  • Could go down the Mount Eden sewer and come up cleaner than he went in
  • Dreamed the bill up in the bath
  • Greasy hands
  • Grubby little man
  • Intestinal fortitude
  • Low style
  • Mealy mouthed
  • Slinking off to another part of the House
  • Frustrated warlord

1977

  • John Boy
  • Silly old moo
  • Racist
  • Sober up

1980

  • Ayatollah
  • Ditch the bitch
  • Fascist dictator
  • Heil Zeig
  • Marxist or neo-Marxist
  • Member for Pretoria
  • Merv the Swerve
  • Papanui Parrot
  • Quigley Wiggly
  • The Arapawa Goat