Tinder has no chill.
The dating app is iridescently angry over a Vanity Fair article implying people are using its service to engage in casual sex.
It has spent the afternoon sending a series of weird unsolicited messages, much like a creep on Tinder.
In its epic tweet series, Tinder vigorously defends its unimpeachable reputation, espouses its vision for humanity, and racks up a word count to rival that of the original feature article.
This is its monologue in chronological order.
The article's author, Nancy Jo Sales, has responded.