You Literally Can: 'Help Me I Cannot Wear Pants'

You Literally Can: 'Help Me I Cannot Wear Pants'

Huge numbers of people on the World Wide Web literally can't or literally can't even. Jenny Suo is the Literally Can't Agony Aunt, and she's here to help.

Justin writes:

Jenny Suo: Hi JustinCullam,

People can be so rude. Assuming it’s not your driving that’s the problem, maybe you could practise some hand puppetry so that next time you can respond to the middle finger with a calming gesture.

The dove is a very simple one. It’s also a symbol of peace.

Ed’s note: Hi Justin, are you blind? Do you know where the indicator is? Screw you buddy.

Misthallery writes:

Jenny: Hi Misthallery,

This is very concerning. I imagine you are not very pleasant to be around either.

You need to seek medical attention as soon as possible but in the meantime, here is a list of things you can still enjoy while screaming;

1.       Yoga 2.       Go for a short stroll 3.       Build a fort 4.       Ride a bike 5.       Dance

Valibeeee writes:

Jenny: Hi Valibeeee,

I am curious – what happens when you try to wear the pants? Do they just shoot off your legs? Do they start devouring the rest of you like a vicious flannel monster?

Whatever the problem is,  you need to stop letting your pants wear the pants. Take the pants back from your pants.

Collenfaithh writes:

Jenny: Hi Collenfaithh,

You may be broke, but you have hit the metaphorical jackpot. Every morning, I wake up and rack my brain for a reason why I can't leave the house today.

Home is great.

To get you inspired, here are some stock images of people having a blast in their houses.

4EverASwiftie writes:

Jenny: Hi 4EverASwiftie

This is no way to live your life. You will die having not appreciated 6/7th of your existence.

Yes, God finished his work on creation on Saturday. Yes, there are great cartoons on in the morning. But there are endless opportunities and experiences waiting to be discovered on the other days of the week as well.

Here's a link to get you started.

The world is your oyster.